Wednesday, October 9, 2013

He Is Able

Those of you who know me well know that managing my finances is not one of my strengths. Its not something I'm even remotely proficient at. I seem to swing from living comfortably and confidently to completely falling off the swing itself. Right now, I'm pretty much lying under the swing staring at the sky, trying to catch the breath that was knocked out of me. I tried to get gas yesterday and my card was declined. Not because I had insufficient funds, but because I was already overdrawn. For the third time in about 5 weeks. My first thought was "I just don't make enough money." That was followed by "STOP GOING TO TARGET AND BARNES & NOBLE IDIOT!!" While both of these are valid points, they weren't answers that helped me solve the problem.

We are six weeks into our study on Ephesians and this week's lesson is called "His Amazing Love." We've been reading mostly out of Ephesians 3, with the last week being focused on 3:14-21. Verses 3:20-21 say, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within us, to him be the glory..."

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. He is able. Plain and simple. He is able to turn my finances around. He is able to solve my career cluelessness. Not only is he able to solve these problems, he can do it in a way that completely blows my mind! Ephesians 1:4 says, "Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. 8-10 He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth." II Corinthians 9:8 says, "and God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

Why am I worrying? God has given me all that I need right now in this moment. He has decided that I only need $40 in my checking account and $20 In my savings. And you know what? After soaking in his word yesterday and today, I'm ok with it because He is able, much more able than I ever could be. It's not comfortable, but I'm not made to be comfortable. While I will continue to look at jobs/career options both in Nashville and Iowa, I will do it patiently and with comfort that at the right time, he will reveal his plans to me and they will be incredible.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

"You, being rooted and established in love"

I've been doing a bible study over the book of Ephesians. It's been so rewarding and comforting to be able to do this and to read this incredible love letter from our Savior. This post is just some ramblings that have stuck with me in the last few weeks. My apologies for the lack of flow and abundance of run-ons. I have to get this done before the kiddos wake up :)

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through Faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all God's holy people, to grasp how wide and kind and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowlegde-that  you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19

What a powerful prayer from Paul. Can you imagine if this was prayed over you everyday? What would your life be like if you lived using only the strength from your soul and the love we are established in? We would be a pretty incredible people. I love that Paul prays we know how immeasurable God's love is but that even if we could wrap our minds around it, the power of that love is a thousand times more than the power of that knowledge. He understands that we will never know it all, but if we just know how much God loves us, we don't need to know it all.

Another thing that gets me is God's faithfulness to us. I cannot comprehend how constant, how loyal, and how true God is. God wrote my story before he even started creating the earth. That means that he wrote my story, promised me this life, and then millions of years later, is following through. On Sunday I said I wasn't going to go to Target this week. Yesterday I signed up for a Target debit card, in person. Yesterday was Monday. I can't keep a promise to myself that will greatly influence my ability to pay rent and have a place to live for more than 24 hours. God kept his promises for centuries, and has never wavered in the 23 years of my existence. After being let down over and over again by people and things in this world, I am so incredibly moved and humbled that God stands firm day after day.

I don't think I will ever fully get it. But I don't think that's a bad thing. There is so much to gain in the quest for understanding and in the discoveries of all the ways I am loved, that on the day I stand before him and finally get it, I pray that during this journey I will have grown in love to be the person he intended me to be, all those years ago.