tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71346838965176605642024-03-13T18:11:24.523-05:00The Journey to TrustThis is a blog about my journey through life, not as I have planned it, but how I'm realizing it's
been planned for me. Enjoy :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-76826671026350379102013-11-25T10:20:00.001-06:002013-11-25T10:20:26.950-06:00Movin' on upI have an announcement! I finally took the leap and bought my own domain through Wordpress. I would LOVE if you would all hop on over to www.trustingadventure.com and continue to follow my blog over there!<br />
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Thanks for taking the time to read my blog :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-72046571953923980432013-11-03T14:04:00.001-06:002013-11-06T20:12:06.784-06:00Toronto for the WeekendI'm sitting in a ballroom in Canada watching as 180+ people celebrate a 12 year old girl. For those of you who don't know, I had the honor of spending the weekend with my parents in Toronto for Makayla Goodman's Bat Mitsvah. Makayla and her family came into our lives about ten years ago when my mom got a call telling her she was an almost perfect match for someone who needed bone marrow. It wasn't until after my mom agreed to donate that we found out that the "someone" was a baby girl in Canada. Years after that, we finally met the people who are now precious members of our family, and we are so lucky to be able to spend this day with them.<br><br><br>Right now, the DJ is playing "Celebrate!" and we are not taking that command lightly! TONS of Makayla's friends and rocking the dance floor accompanied by the largest extended family I've ever seen. While this is a party celebrating Makayla's turning 13 and what that means in the Jewish faith, there is so much more to what we are celebrating. There was a time when Melissa and Ian, Mak's awesome parents, didn't know if they would be able to have this celebration. You see, Makayla was born without an immune system. She was put into reverse isolation at 6 months and stayed there for the next 10 months of her life. Only 4 members of her family were allowed to see her and care for her. During that ten months, her family did everything they could possibly do while they waited for a bone marrow match to be found. Since the day of the transplant, which was an absolute success, Makayla and her family have created a life full of lots of love, family, and loud never ending laughter.<br>
<br>Makayla had the religious ceremony of her Bat Mitsvah a few months ago, tonight is the reception. We (both sides of Makayla's family and mine) spent all morning with hair and make up, then we headed to the hotel where a photographer took pictures of everyone. This part of the night felt very similar to a wedding reception. After the pictures, the guests started arriving in droves. Can I just tell you, this is by far the fanciest party I've ever been invited to and its for a twelve year old. All the men are wearing suits and ties and the women are in gorgeous dresses. *Do not underestimate the amount of glitz and glamour in these dresses and shoes. It was amazing.* There is a DJ, a digital photo booth, red carpet-esque picture background, popcorn bar, lights, cameras and professional dancers to get the crowd going. Makayla, her parents, and her good friends gave speeches and then Makayla smashed a cake with a rubber mallet. I'm not sure if this was Jewish custom or just fun, but either way it was great. It's tradition for several people in the Bat Mitsvah girl's life to each give a speech and to light a candle signifying their relationship to the guest of honor, but the Goodmans did things a little differently. They only had one candle on the table and had my mom and Makayla light it together. There was not a single dry eye in the house. Everyone close to the Goodman's knows about my mom and that she gave the bone marrow that enabled Makayla's body to function correctly so many years ago. <br>
<br>While the bone marrow was the initial connection between our two families, our bond has grown to so much more than that. I have only spent a short time getting to know the Goodmans and their family, but I know that our lives are richer because of them. It's impossible to be with them and not feel like one of the family. It was truly an honor to be able to be a part of this very special day for Makayla.<br>
<br>God blessed me richly when he let me have a front row seat to one of the most incredible stories I've ever known unfold right before my eyes. I am working on writing out the journey of this epic adventure we have with Ian, Melissa, Makayla,Zachary, and the whole family and will be posting it on here soon.<br><br><br>Please consider going online and registering to be a bone marrow donor yourself. Thousands of people are waiting for marrow and it is so easy to register and maybe one day save a life. www.bethematch.org<br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM18QzXEO_xk3be5-E770vJceDwqWwPt_rIMKU6_EvGLSlidu-v3_b3OVMVqgD-FK6wPiKcZxz92MK1xp8CWTIKVYatYDStKozFNS8l6rbduJsaxyOJWep7Ry03gz8pQBjSV6ZbeEDuLQ/s1600/20131102_145329.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM18QzXEO_xk3be5-E770vJceDwqWwPt_rIMKU6_EvGLSlidu-v3_b3OVMVqgD-FK6wPiKcZxz92MK1xp8CWTIKVYatYDStKozFNS8l6rbduJsaxyOJWep7Ry03gz8pQBjSV6ZbeEDuLQ/s640/20131102_145329.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Makayla</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPryCU7xN2iQn4JJfBGunrOnIRwtg-4oAr9PLoNEMSjaTP19WutasnApytbNtPVCiTi-03kBYfq_HeV48-ZFLJkYy11-ZcC-cEGvmzkKr70fAbxtZbSqNFqvNLWOHa9TDkEyE7DUz45T8/s1600/IMG_254968341554423.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPryCU7xN2iQn4JJfBGunrOnIRwtg-4oAr9PLoNEMSjaTP19WutasnApytbNtPVCiTi-03kBYfq_HeV48-ZFLJkYy11-ZcC-cEGvmzkKr70fAbxtZbSqNFqvNLWOHa9TDkEyE7DUz45T8/s640/IMG_254968341554423.jpeg"></a>Lynn (my mom)and Makayla<br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixfURz5bLhRXpsYIARnbGdWGi6rg7k5RsZ-7N9laBf_R9CoC0HK6zugqCdfyJxFN_3wj579FB33x-TL8shc2fbn22YJ-6EwB11klttmN6CV99p9Z-82IrNaiVZAfmhBahBnrKVT0bjkpU/s1600/IMG_254173032142919.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br></a><br>Melissa, Zach, <br>Ian,and Makayla<br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVZwSePFMCvroUx9nfGmn6JHgZZOYfmQOJtiyEg-41RB0rARKCEs0_F7WOMTP1wUM0uTTDpKO9DzBwLTMvtcMxsegu21MksEdzPkIC5N14RD6YBzFZtzHeEH6JVxZCVGIvqp1WOGOzoME/s1600/IMG_254173032142919.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVZwSePFMCvroUx9nfGmn6JHgZZOYfmQOJtiyEg-41RB0rARKCEs0_F7WOMTP1wUM0uTTDpKO9DzBwLTMvtcMxsegu21MksEdzPkIC5N14RD6YBzFZtzHeEH6JVxZCVGIvqp1WOGOzoME/s640/IMG_254173032142919.jpeg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYYKq-N5l3GjoPXHvJdvCqui-rchDAFVcvxTX7lHUPSOyQ4IL12FWhXtMguQXEnz2mkWs1P4O2HBg8L-wIz49oUBs1nKM3XJ4D2NcsuhD4g35UaOc8QzUVMrm_lUr6R8_jrB_aQSHOXDs/s1600/IMG_20131104_171605.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYYKq-N5l3GjoPXHvJdvCqui-rchDAFVcvxTX7lHUPSOyQ4IL12FWhXtMguQXEnz2mkWs1P4O2HBg8L-wIz49oUBs1nKM3XJ4D2NcsuhD4g35UaOc8QzUVMrm_lUr6R8_jrB_aQSHOXDs/s640/IMG_20131104_171605.jpg"><br></a><br>Makayla and I<br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0Toronto Pearson International Airport, Mississauga43.68173 -79.612045tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-78137853724536459872013-10-09T13:48:00.001-05:002013-10-09T13:48:43.249-05:00He Is Able<p><i><b>T</b></i>hose of you who know me well know that managing my finances is not one of my strengths. Its not something I'm even remotely proficient at. I seem to swing from living comfortably and confidently to completely falling off the swing itself. Right now, I'm pretty much lying under the swing staring at the sky, trying to catch the breath that was knocked out of me. I tried to get gas yesterday and my card was declined. Not because I had insufficient funds, but because I was already overdrawn. For the third time in about 5 weeks. My first thought was "I just don't make enough money." That was followed by "STOP GOING TO TARGET AND BARNES & NOBLE IDIOT!!" While both of these are valid points, they weren't answers that helped me solve the problem. </p>
<p>We are six weeks into our study on Ephesians and this week's lesson is called "His Amazing Love." We've been reading mostly out of Ephesians 3, with the last week being focused on 3:14-21. Verses 3:20-21 say, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within us, to him be the glory..."</p>
<p><i><b>Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or </b></i><i><b>imagine. </b></i>He is able. Plain and simple. He is able to turn my finances around. He is able to solve my career cluelessness. Not only is he able to solve these problems, he can do it in a way that completely blows my mind! Ephesians 1:4 says, "Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. 8-10 He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth." II Corinthians 9:8 says, "and God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." </p>
<p>Why am I worrying? God has given me all that I need right now in this moment. He has decided that I only need $40 in my checking account and $20 In my savings. And you know what? After soaking in his word yesterday and today, I'm ok with it because He is able, much more able than I ever could be. It's not comfortable, but I'm not made to be comfortable. While I will continue to look at jobs/career options both in Nashville and Iowa, I will do it patiently and with comfort that at the right time, he will reveal his plans to me and they will be incredible. </p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-27205426171463236932013-10-08T14:04:00.001-05:002013-10-08T14:04:07.865-05:00"You, being rooted and established in love"<p>I've been doing a bible study over the book of Ephesians. It's been so rewarding and comforting to be able to do this and to read this incredible love letter from our Savior. This post is just some ramblings that have stuck with me in the last few weeks. My apologies for the lack of flow and abundance of run-ons. I have to get this done before the kiddos wake up :)</p>
<p>"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through Faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all God's holy people, to grasp how wide and kind and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowlegde-that  you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19</p>
<p>What a powerful prayer from Paul. Can you imagine if this was prayed over you everyday? What would your life be like if you lived using only the strength from your soul and the love we are established in? We would be a pretty incredible people. I love that Paul prays we know how immeasurable God's love is but that even if we could wrap our minds around it, the power of that love is a thousand times more than the power of that knowledge. He understands that we will never know it all, but if we just know how much God loves us, we don't need to know it all. </p>
<p>Another thing that gets me is God's faithfulness to us. I cannot comprehend how constant, how loyal, and how true God is. God wrote my story before he even started creating the earth. That means that he wrote my story, promised me this life, and then millions of years later, is following through. On Sunday I said I wasn't going to go to Target this week. Yesterday I signed up for a Target debit card, in person. Yesterday was Monday. I can't keep a promise to myself that will greatly influence my ability to pay rent and have a place to live for more than 24 hours. God kept his promises for centuries, and has never wavered in the 23 years of my existence. After being let down over and over again by people and things in this world, I am so incredibly moved and humbled that God stands firm day after day. </p>
<p>I don't think I will ever fully get it. But I don't think that's a bad thing. There is so much to gain in the quest for understanding and in the discoveries of all the ways I am loved, that on the day I stand before him and finally get it, I pray that during this journey I will have grown in love to be the person he intended me to be, all those years ago.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-19213377864657642092013-09-11T23:01:00.000-05:002013-09-11T23:01:21.908-05:00Why Faith is like Shaving your Legs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Studying the bible and drinking wine, as the Good Lord intended. </i></div>
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I recently started a bible study and we will meet for the second time tomorrow. The study is set up to read certain passages and answer 5-10 questions a day for 5 days. I, being the motivated, word-thirsty, GodStudent that I am, typically wait until Wednesday night at 8pm to attempt to do all of it. This is<i> </i>not advised. I was on Lesson 2 Day 3 when I saw it was 15 deep thinking questions with an additional "Truth Seeking" section. I rolled my eyes heavenward and said, "Are you kidding me?" A quiet voice reminded me that most people follow the directions and take it one day at a time and generally no, the bible doesn't kid. I finished the questions without the deep thinking and then took a break to shower. Earlier today I bought new razor heads and shaving cream (I never buy shaving cream, and I promise this information is related to my bible study woes, just stick with me). I was super excited for my legs to be "luxuriously smooth and richly moisturized," as the can promised, so you can imagine my disappointment when I got out of the shower and had a prickly line up my calf that the razor missed.<br />
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Faithfully, God used something trivial to remind me he has more in store for my life when he had me sign up for this bible study. Just because I bought fancy shaving supplies, doesn't guarantee perfect results. I have to take my time and use them correctly. I signed up and paid for this bible study. When the money left my account, the knowledge and subsequent faith wasn't deposited into my brain. I have to spend good, quality time <i>every day</i> with Jesus if I want to know him better. If I try to cram it all into one night, the results are as prickly as my calf. It doesn't matter if you were raised by nun's and studied abroad for a year in heaven- our investment is in God, not the tools or classes. The classes are worthless if we are not invested in knowing Jesus more. He then uses the tools and classes to help us learn.<br />
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In the coming weeks, I am praying that I will be excited about the opportunity of ending long work days in time with Jesus. Reading his words, writing out thoughts and prayers, and allowing him to fill me up in order to let this study do what He intended it to do.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-22567938243128948342013-09-09T20:53:00.000-05:002013-09-09T21:01:05.202-05:00That Fateful DayWe have so many specific days that stick out in our minds. Milestones like starting preschool, getting our drivers license, graduating high school or college. These days are celebrated with family, friends, pictures, and parties. There is one "milestone" however, that is greatly under appreciated. A single day- no, a single moment that makes you stop in your tracks and examine your entire life up to that point in time...<br />
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<b><i>The Day You Open Your Mouth And Your Mother Comes Out</i></b>.<br />
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If you're in your 20's, have or are around children on a regular basis, or had a mother that loved you fiercely, you've probably experienced this moment . It should not be confused with the similarly shocking milestone of <b><u>Realizing Your Mother Was Right...About Everything</u></b> (that's another post, for another day).<br />
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Let me tell you what happened...<br />
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I am a nanny. I care for two of the world's sweetest children who, for privacy reasons, I will call Question Master and Sweet Pea. Question Master (or Q) is so named because he is the absolute master of all questions. He has in fact, asked every single one of them. He's 4 years old, insanely smart, and has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Sweet Pea is 2 and is just as sweet as can be. Her adorable smile could defrost the coldest of hearts. <br />
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Today Question Master had a T-Ball game. I was in the middle of getting everything ready, and needed him to get his uniform on. He was relaxing from a long day at preschool and watching TV. I brought him his uniform, helped him with his socks, and then asked him to put his pants and shirt on while I took a few things out to the car. I came back in, Sweet Pea had taken the pants and he was laying on the couch in his school clothes. I returned the pants, got his attention and asked again. Few minutes later... no change. I again, wrestled the pants away from Sweet Pea, turned the TV off, and gave her a snack...still no progress. About 15-20 minutes has passed at this point and Q is now making carpet angels and asking if I remembered the time I said Pluto was a planet, and he so graciously corrected me <strike>for an hour and a half</strike>. I gathered his clothes, pointed him towards the bathroom (to minimize distractions), and....it happened.<br />
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"<i>You have 5 minutes to put this uniform on your body, or...."</i><br />
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Sweet Baby Jesus.<br />
I couldn't even finish the sentence. It was the tone! The words! The feeling that I was 7 years old and <i>still hadn't cleaned my room.</i><br />
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My unbelievable, loving, attentive, caring mother had a way of finishing any problem, any procrastination, any<i>thing</i> with a time limit, a task and <i>"or I will do it for you." </i>Couple that with the ol' raised eyebrows, and stuff got done. NOBODY wanted Mama to do it for them.<i> </i>I took a second and evaluated where I was in life, and tried to accept what had just happened. I also made a mental note to call my mom and thank her for being so <i>incredibly</i> present in my life, that even though I am over 700 miles away, she's still popping up out of nowhere, helping me out. That's a good Mom.<br />
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Question Master was in and out of the bathroom in 3 minutes, ready and yelling "LET'S PLAY BALL!!!"<br />
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I was almost upset that it worked so well. Touche'.<br />
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Mom: 1 Jordan: 0<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-81514750748168020462013-08-29T22:01:00.001-05:002013-09-04T21:37:20.141-05:00Writing for the sake of writingSo, I bet after you all read that last post you expected more frequent blog posts didn't ya? Yup, I did too. Unfortunately, after the grand <u><a href="http://trustingadventure.blogspot.com/2013/08/dreams-of-twentysomething.html" target="_blank">Declaration of Life Plans</a></u>, I have had squat for ideas to write about. Like, diddly squat. I've been writing a little in journals and such but nothing exciting. But, as I try to follow the advice of other published writers, I am going to write, just to write. So, without further ado, here's an update on whats been going on in my life. Be warned: it's incredibly enthralling.<br />
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(no it's not)<br />
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Like most humans, I am on a constant journey to better myself. Both spiritually and physically. I signed up for a bible study over Ephesians and Hebrews at my church that will be starting soon, and am trying to keep a prayer journal and read the bible more. I'm not unhappy about the way I look, but I remember how great it <i>felt</i> to be in good shape when I was in high school. In an effort to return to this state, I've been running and swimming for some time now. My sister, Sydnie, is an avid runner and stole all of the athletic, endurance, and competitive genes and has completed a full marathon and several other running feats. I, on the other hand am especially proficient at things like reading for a whole day, having an exceptionally comfortable wardrobe, and declaring things without a whole lot of follow up. Proud of it, too. Anyway, she has been saying for a year that she would like to come down and "run" a "race" "together". (The quotation marks are because 1. I use the term running very loosely. 2. I'm not racing anyone but the event's time limit. I just try not to notice all the moms pushing multiple toddlers in strollers passing me. 3. She's trying to beat a previous time. I'm trying not to require life support.) After <strike>badgering me for 12 months</strike> encouraging me to think about it she <strike>tricked </strike>convinced me into committing to the Country Music Half Marathon in April. She also <strike>deceived me</strike> advised me in my training. She said that in order to fully train for an event you must pay more money than should be legally allowed to run an event of equal ungodly length prior to the actual event. So, I will also be running a half marathon in September. In 29 days, actually. I am pretty excited about conquering something I never thought I would be able to do. I plodded about 10 miles today in OPPRESSIVE heat, and then naturally had fast food for dinner. Still ironing out the kinks.<br />
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One super positive aspect of my training is some new motivation! About 6 weeks ago I signed up to be a runner on a site called <a href="http://www.whoirun4.com/" target="_blank">I Run For Michael</a>. This nonprofit organization was started by a runner named Tim who's friend Michael has a hip condition that prevents him from being able to run. Michael also has Down Syndrome. Tim started this organization that pairs runners up with kids with special needs all over the country. The runners then run for their match, and post greetings and share photos on a Facebook group. It's kind of amazing. After waiting what seemed like forever I received my match on Monday! I am paired with a sweet two year old boy from Utah. I have been getting to know him and his family through his awesome mom and their family blog. Running for them makes running exciting again!<br />
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I have been getting a little better on the financial aspect of life. I still don't have any money but I did open my budget again for the second time since I created it...Progress! I worked with it long enough to plan to buy a little TV and DVD player for my room. It took me about a month to save up all the money and buy it responsibly. It felt really good! This was followed the next week by upgrading my bedding for the first time since I was 14. This was not planned, or budgeted for, and was wildly expensive and for that I will not be buying groceries this week.Totally worth it, my bed is really pretty, you guys.<br />
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Well, I'm really trying to down play the excitement and glamour of my life but I think that about covers the whole summer. Oh! I forgot, I have to get glasses, and my bottom left wisdom tooth might be coming in. I know, it really is hard to be this lively. I was once asked by a former co-worker how exciting my life was. I think I explained it well when I said, "It's like telling your significant other you love them for the first time, and then they say 'thanks'." <br />
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Until next time!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-100054035089907782013-08-14T14:25:00.001-05:002013-08-14T14:25:56.114-05:00Dreams of a TwentySomething<p>My very first post on this blog was almost 2 years ago. I wish I could say something like, "7 published works, 2 speaking tours, and a billion dollars later, here we are!" But sadly, I cannot. The real story includes three states, four jobs, and $42,000 in debt. What a life, right? While all that stuff in the first scenario would be great, I'm pretty sure it's against some sort of law to have that much success by 23. I'm not bitter, I just understand life takes time to figure out, but it does make me think. </p>
<p>When I was 5, I thought I would be a grandma by 23. Then at 16, I saw myself married with my first kid by 23. When I was 20, I pictured myself in a beautiful, kid-free life traveling the world with a job and salary that paid for it all. Reality says at 23 I find myself waiting, willing something to happen that will show me which path my life will take. Three years into "the best years of my life", I'm ready to get going, and make these years as good as everyone said they would be.</p>
<p>My second post began, "I like how in college, people say, I am a... and then state their major." In college, your major was a huge part of your identity. They didn't tell us if we didn't land a job right after graduation, we'd lose that security of having a publicly approved identity that stated we knew what we were doing with our lives and had a plan to get there. After graduation I completed my internship at a site that wasn't hiring, moved 750 miles away and became a nanny. While I have no regrets, I found through the move and a year in Nashville, I don't identify with a Therapeutic Recreation major anymore. I still love it, of course I do it cost $40,000, but I'm having problems finding a career in it that I can see myself doing for decades to come. In the wake of that credit score devastation, I have begun to seriously rekindle a flame of passion I've had since I was seven. </p>
<p>I want to be a writer.</p>
<p>The dream is obviously Saturday Night Live, but I'd have to start watching the news and I'm pretty sure our more-basic-than-basic cable package doesn't include a single news channel. In the event that SNL doesn't think I'm funny, I love to explore other facets of the writing world. I really don't have any direction as to what type of writing I want to do or major plans regarding timeline or genre, other than making a career or of it. </p>
<p>Armed with a dream, a wide open future, and nothing but time, I'm ready to commit. A <a href="http://www.paigekellerman.com ">great writer</a> I recently discovered said she doesn't use the term "aspiring writer" because you are what you do. So without further delay..</p>
<p>I am a writer. </p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-82072767438560434162013-08-03T16:05:00.000-05:002013-08-03T16:05:10.923-05:00HomeYesterday I went out for a run at Percy Warner Park. I chose this particular 5.8 mile course because it is known to be one of the hilliest and best training courses for runners in middle Tennessee. As I am training for a couple very hilly half marathons, I believed this to to be a "good idea". Also, it's paved road winding through miles of gorgeous forest makes for a pretty awesome view. Anyway, being a trail run through miles of forest, I was a little nervous about getting lost, so I used an app on my phone to guide me through the twists and turns. This barely helped as I still proceeded to make a wrong turn and my 5.8 challenging hill run turned into a 8.3 mile quest for life support. Needless to say, I'm taking it easy today.<br />
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When I hit the 6 mile mark and saw the distance I still needed to cover to get back to my car I realized I had made a mistake along the way and I was no where near finished, completely exhausted, and the discouragement was setting in. I was disappointed about how much of the run I had actually walked, about my unfamiliarity of the terrain and the fact that my phone's battery life was dwindling. After a short pity party I sorted out my route and ran consistently for about a half mile when my phone beeped, flashed and vibrated to announce that the battery was very low. This is where I really began to doubt my decisions about taking this challenge alone. If my phone died, I had no idea how to get back to my car without GPS, I was completely bored with running and my legs felt like jello. I fiddled with the power saving options and was about to turn off my music when I decided that a couple more songs would help me get my pace back and get me closer to the finish. When I felt like again I needed to stop and walk I just got angry. How did I miss a turn when I am literally following a little blip around a map and it's telling me where to go? What the heck was I going to do when I still had a mile left and my phone died, I hadn't seen another person in about 40 minutes. I was just about to turn off my playlist, but heard the familiar opening tones to one of of favorite songs, Phillip Phillips' "Home".<br />
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"Hold on to me as we go.</div>
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As we roll down this unfamiliar road.</div>
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And as this wave is stringing us along,</div>
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Just know you're not alone. Cause I'm gonna make this place your Home.</div>
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Settle down, it'll all be clear.</div>
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Don't pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear.</div>
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The trouble it might drag you down</div>
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if you get lost you can always be found.</div>
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Just know you're not alone. Cause I'm gonna make this place your home."</div>
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In that moment I wasn't hearing the love song as Phillips intended it. I was instead hearing it as God intended it. He was saying, (and I'm paraphrasing, God is hard to quote after 7 miles of hills), "Jordan, chill out. You're not alone. Yes, you don't know where you are, but I do. You doubt your choices and your abilities but I put you right here. Hold onto me as we go down a road that is new to you, but not to me. This place of uncertainty right now is temporary in this situation but I'm going to make it your home. And spoiler alert! I have a better GPS than your phone!" I began thinking about all the questions I currently have. I began sounding out all my feelings based on my life at that moment, five days before my 23rd birthday. They all rounded out into one giant ball of uncertainty. What am I doing in Nashville? What was my purpose to move 700 miles away to become a nanny? Where in the world was the money I made every two weeks? How is it ALWAYS gone? Why hasn't my career begun? One by one, as I ran I felt answers coming to those questions. What am I doing in Nashville? Learning. What was my purpose to become a nanny? A job that I enjoy, with a family I adore and <i>time to process</i>. Why is my money always gone? Because the last time I consulted my budget, was the day I made it. ( I didn't need divine help with that one). My career? It's not time to find it yet; write more. I felt like he was saying he was going to take that of uncertainty, and was going to make it my home. What does that mean? I don't know. I do know that something is coming, I can feel it. I do know that change is coming soon. I don't know what it is but I guess then I've never really known my next step until it smacks me in the face. When God makes the feeling of uncertainty your home when you've been uncertain for the majority of your adult life, you don't question it, because actually it already feels like home.</div>
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I put too much stress on myself to be doing the exact right thing I am supposed to be doing at the exact right time. As a person who is habitually late, this is not the best fit for a lifestyle choice. Yes, I believe our futures are a memory of God's and that he has a plan for our lives but he never intended us to stress about it. He intended us to ask about it. The day before I was to drive back to Tennessee after going home to get rid of mono, we went to church and I was feeling doubtful about my decisions, even though I told everyone I couldn't wait to get back. One of my moms good friends and a very wise and witty lady, Joani, prayed for me. She said something that helped immensely on my transition back to Nashville and that came flooding back to me full force on my run. She prayed that I would be able to hear the directions I was being given to find the life that God has planned for me. But, that while I waited for those directions to know that any work I find, when done to glorify Him, is always on his plan for me, and makes him smile. That certainly takes the pressure off, doesn't it? It's his plan, not mine. I'm the passenger, not the driver. About the same time I came to these familiar realizations I looked up and focused on my surroundings, I could see my car. I held tight to him that last mile on an unfamiliar road. I ignored all the demons that left me afraid. I settled down, and it did become clear, he didn't promise that I would always feel certain but he took my uncertainty and he led me home. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-21861848796880646792013-06-09T14:28:00.001-05:002013-06-09T15:24:18.122-05:00Why?**For those of you who have expressed concern: I was never in any imminent danger through this ridiculousness, there were tons of people who probably would have stepped in if anything got out of hand, and the police officer was very professional in his handling of the situation. Would you have believed me without photo evidence? :) **<br />
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In the midst of my mundane routine, I often find myself in the weirdest situations. I have no idea how or why but inevitably, it always happens. I even started a hashtag on Twitter #FailingWithJordan, they are so frequent. Here is the latest of those situations.<br />
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One way homeless people find work is to sell newspapers at intersections all over the city. Having just bought a new car (with WORKING windows) I was happy and somewhat excited to be able to help out. I pulled up to the intersection (with inappropriately long red lights) smiled and waved, holding some cash to indicate my intentions. The transaction absolutely did not go as planned. </div>
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The man selling papers walked up to my car and leaned heavily against the door. Instantly, I smelled the liquor on his breath and wanted to get this over with. What I said very clearly through the four inch opening of my window was, "Hi, I don't want a paper but here's a donation to use as you need it. Have a great night." What the man heard was something that led him to believe I was looking for a new pal. When I ignored his suggestions on "fun places where we could dance" he took matters into his own hands and proceeded to SIT on the HOOD of my BRAND NEW used car. Obviously, I did the only thing I could think of which was panic and repeat the word 'why' over and over out loud. To make matters more fun, cars around me TOOK PICTURES and honked their horns. A gesture, while I'm sure heartfelt, was just not at all helpful. I thought if I drove forward very slowly, the man would get off and end his protest. Unfortunately, he did not until I had inched all the way through the red light and he spotted a police officer. As he slid off and ran away I was being pulled over for running a red light. (What happened to chivalry?)</div>
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The officer came up to my car and asked if I knew the light was red. My exact reply was, "<b>Yes, Sir, I did know. I'm very sorry I ran that light....but there was a homeless man on my hood and I didn't know what else to do."</b> The officer stopped, looked at me very sternly, and asked me to step out of my vehicle. I'm pretty sure he thought I had hit this man with my car. I explained the situation, and he told me to stay put. After he inspected my car for evidence of vehicular homicide, ran my license, he gave me a well spoken lecture about making up nonsense just to get out of a ticket. Thankfully as he was writing out an incredibly expensive ticket for my "outlandish excuses" one of the cars that had witnessed the whole thing pulled up and showed the police officer the photo on his cell phone, (after first asking for immunity for having his cell phone out while driving). Thankfully the police officer had a sense of humor, and let me go ticket free with an apology through laughing tears while wiping the grease mark left by the homeless man's clothes off my hood. The homeless man was pursued for public intoxication. Probably a good idea.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-34037577553933099732013-05-13T23:47:00.001-05:002013-05-14T21:57:03.630-05:00My views on Same Sex Marriage<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><b>"Our culture has accepted two huge lies: The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear them or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate."-Rick Warren</b></span></blockquote>
With all the attention this issue is getting, this topic has been on my mind for a while, and I've been trying to decide if I wanted to address it or not. My hesitance does not stem from fear, or social judgement but because politically, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Politics give me a headache and bore me to tears. But, due to actions from some of my very bold friends, I have decided to write about my support for same sex marriage. Upon reading that sentence, I would be willing to bet that at least 70% of you readers now have your shields up and are not very happy with me. I bet right now you're thinking, "OMG is <i>she</i>, GAY?!"<br />
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Let me address that thought.<br />
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First of all, <b><i>that's rude</i></b>, and I'm not going to answer that question right now. Not because the accusation of being gay is anywhere near an insult, but because of the way you thought it. That thought came from a place of ignorance and intolerance. I don't believe that is a question that anyone has the right to ask. When my friends came out to me, I was deeply honored that they trusted me and knew my character enough to know that that piece of them was safe with me. That I was not going to judge them or end our friendship because of one part of who they are. Each person has the right to choose when, how, to whom, and <i>if </i>they are going to share that information with you. Gay or straight.<br />
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Secondly, like I said earlier that thought came from a place of ignorance and intolerance, and unless you are willing to open your heart and your mind to the person behind the information, you don't deserve to know the answer. One thing I've learned about this life is that we are put in the paths of people who we are supposed to share impact with. If you want it to be a positive experience and receive the blessing that they are, you're going to have to accept them for who they are. Gay or straight.<br />
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Third, I am not a theologian. I have not read the whole bible and I'll be honest, I don't know everything about what it says about same sex marriage. I do know two things however: first, we can make the bible say pretty much anything we want it to when we take Jesus' words out of context and secondly, my God teaches love. I believe everything in the bible is true and from what I've read, the most important thing to Jesus was <b>making sure we all know how madly and passionately he loves us ALL.</b> So instead of spreading hate through condemnation, I choose to spread love through acceptance. Gay or straight.<br />
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My fourth point is on the sanctity of marriage. Nobody has come even close to convincing me that same sex marriage is ruining the sanctity of marriage. I'm pretty sure straight people have been doing a fine job of that for decades. The mere fact that I know Britney Spears was married for 55 hours proves that. And Vegas? C'mon guys. With this said, I am not saying all straight couples are ruining marriage, or that all same sex couples are preserving it. What I'm saying is, this point is crap. <br />
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I have also been confronted because when I talk about not using the R-word I ask people to refrain from using gay in a derogatory way as well, as if "I'm saying that gay people are retarded." (Several people have actually said this to me). Let me make myself clear. I typically talk about both words together not because I think being gay was caused by trauma, or a genetic development, but because it is a real part of a person that makes them the unique blessing full of promise that they are (I know how cheesy that sounds but it's true). Just as you, Reader, were born with freckles and a love for animals, you wouldn't be you without every single attribute. Again, acceptance of a person as a person. Not as a gay person, or a special needs person, or as a different person. As a person. Gay or straight. <br />
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The last thing this world needs is more intolerance and more judgement. If we were all able to open our hearts and our minds to the the people around us regardless of their label, I think we would see that this world isn't the ugly place it seems to be. Because of that I CHOOSE to share with you that I am straight. I am an ally to the gay community and I'm freaking proud of it. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-34225969613521734632013-05-05T14:44:00.000-05:002013-05-05T14:59:53.372-05:00Catching a Glimpse <p>Have you ever been driving home from work when the sun is setting and you manage to catch a glimpse of it in a break in the trees? You can see the blue sky above you beginning to give way to those beautiful colors, everything has that awesome golden glow from the low sun. You drive a bit further and the sunset is obstructed by trees, and houses, or buildings, but then there it is again! A break in the buildings showed you another quick look at it and you just know it's going to be a good one. Finally, maybe the highway goes through a rural area where the land is flat and farmed or you've driven around a corner and are now driving straight into it, but there..<i>there it is</i>. Everything is bathed in golden light; the sun is a warm bright reddish- orange, just beginning to sink in to the earth. The sky, which at this point makes you understand why it's called the heavens, is red, pink, purple, orange, yellow and blue. How is it possible that this same sky, that brings rain, and storms, and tornadoes can also bring this breath taking display of beauty? It makes you want to pull over and sit on the hood of your car and just soak in the warm gold covering the earth.</p>
<p>At the church I recently began attending, we are just finishing up a study of Luke that started about two years ago. Today, the pastor talked about the very last paragraph, The Ascension of Christ. I have always wondered why Christ chose to go back up into heaven (not that I blame Him) and how the disciples felt about him leaving, so I was pleased to find this was the topic of the teaching. Essentially, Jesus was taken back up into heaven so that we could be closer to him because with him in his physical body on Earth, he could only be with the people who shared his geographical location. But, because he was taken back into heaven into his rightful position as the King, he was able to send the Holy Spirit who continued to do his work in those who loved him. The beauty of Jesus' absence, is that it made way for his deep spiritual presence. He didn't leave as I previously felt and thought, he did the opposite and became more available. It says in Luke 50-53, "When he led them out to the edge of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. While he was blessing them,  he left them and was taken up into heaven. Then they worshiped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God." What struck me about this passage was that <i>when Jesus leaves, no one grieves</i>. Instead, they are completely filled with joy. The pastor teaching today talked about this and said it was because for the first time, the disciples were seeing Jesus for who he really was. The preparation, the teaching, everything was over. The man who was to be the Son of God had come, did everything he said he would do and more, and now they watched him ascend to heaven. It's like they spent all that time during their walk with him catching glimpses of who Jesus said he was, only to lose the view. Then, they finally turned a corner and broke out of the buildings and there he was, in all of his glorious display, Jesus. Exactly who he  always said he was going to be but now,their eyes and hearts were completely open and he was blessing them. I bet the moment Jesus rose up felt like they had spent all day in a blazing sun. They knew that when the day was over and the sun set, they would have relief. It takes so long, but when the sun finally begins to fall and the sky transforms  nobody remembers how uncomfortable the sun was. All they can do is stop, look at the beauty, and be joyful in the moment.</p>
<p>I feel like this is kind of how my walk with Jesus is. Not that I've had the honor of having my eyes fully opened to exactly who He is but more in the glimpses part. I go through life and things are good, but then I catch a glimpse and a whole new realm of 'good' is found. I walk through life and things are tough, times when no matter how hard I try, I can't get my footing, and even if I could I wouldn't know what to do with it. But then, inevitably -because God's promise to us is true- I catch a glimpse and the struggles grow dim in the light of his hope. I find my footing and even though I still probably don't know what to do with it, I take the next step with a renewed confidence, a joyful heart and know that I'm on his path.</p>
<p>Living life between the glimpses can be hard. When times are good I think we find we lean more on our own understanding and think that we know what were doing, so by the time we catch a glimpse, we've gotten so far off track talking about all our blessings on Facebook, we realize that without the glimpse we would  have soon found ourselves lost. And, in the hard times, we can get so beaten down with anxiety, debt, and struggle that we lose hope that we may ever catch another glimpse at all. These times are when we pray for direction and when a glimpse is everything we need, (I know I've had such low times where I would feel like I caught a glimpse purely because my debit card wasn't rejected). The fact is, is that no matter where we are in our lives or what season we're going/suffering through, He's there. He will always show up and give us a glimpse to give us direction, or hope, or those amazing blessings at the perfect time that not only renews our hearts, but gives us enough insight to keep going.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0Nashville, Nashville36.166668 -86.78333tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-42376531158969254642013-03-04T12:25:00.004-06:002013-03-04T12:25:44.567-06:00Comfort vs. CourageIt's important to have a little background information about me for this post to fully make sense.When I was little, I would dream of traveling to and living in far off places. I wanted to go to school in a different state, study abroad in a different culture. I wanted to join the Peace Corps and live this exciting, adventurous life. But, the reality of it was that as much as I wanted to do these things, I could barely spend the night at a friend's house across the street without getting homesick. I remember on one night in third or fourth grade I "spent the night" at my friend Deanna's house. (Keep in mind that I knew this family as well as I knew my own, and I <i>walked</i> to this sleepover.) We had a great time playing and being weird as we always are, but at nine o'clock when it was time to start winding down, I was overwhelmed with an unnecessary anxiety and could not imagine spending another second away from home. This resulted in me calling my mom in tears and going home. This routine of having a great time and then going home at bedtime continued far longer than it should have. Eventually by middle school, I was able to successfully stay the night at a friends house not without thoughts of home lulling me to sleep. But, I didn't go college in a different state nor did I study abroad. I never stopped wanting to but in all honesty, the thought of these things brought back feelings of that old anxiety and I just didn't have the courage. Throughout college, the opportunities for travel and leaving the Cedar Valley increased and I felt more and more compelled to take them. I began feeling that not only did I want to take these opportunities, I felt that I needed to take them. It took a sharp jab in the ribs from God and His incessant repeating of "move, move, move" to finally do it. I moved an hour and a half away to work at Camp Courageous, then five hours away for my internship in Aurora, Illinois, now I live eleven hours away in Nashville. I hope to one day move to India and work with <a href="http://lovinghislambs.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Loving His Lambs ministry.</a> But even as I type this, I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't mention that pretty much everyday I think about moving back home.<br />
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I have been working at a job as a nanny for a four and a two year old both with special needs. While I have now become comfortable with their demanding schedules, medical needs and the overall responsibilities of part-time parenting, in the beginning I was worried I wasn't going to be able to handle it. On the morning of my first day God woke me up forty-five minutes early from a basically sleepless, anxious night and led me to Ephesians. As I was reading this book I felt love of Christ washing over me again and again and again. I finished the book, and spent some time praying until my alarm went off and got up filled with courage, hope, and reassurance that I'm in the right place. About two weeks later I was filled with homesickness again and was still semi uncomfortable with my job. That night I spoke with a great friend who shared my feelings of homesickness. The next morning, God woke me up early again this time leading me to the story of Esther. As I read this story I was thinking, this girl, probably younger than me at the time, left her home without any questions. Then when all the lives of her people were threatened, she risked her life to save them. And she did it. There is a verse in Esther 4:14 that has become one of my new favorites, <sup class="versenum" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"> </sup><span style="font-family: inherit;"><sup class="versenum" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">"</sup><span style="background-color: white;">If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows? Perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?”</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>"Who knows? Perhaps you were made queen for such a time as this"</b></span></span></blockquote>
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When I read this, all I could think of was that Sonic commercial where the bald guy talks about having his mind blown, because my mind was seriously blown (and because I have some issues staying focused). My mind was completely blown. Esther left her life, her culture, her family to live in a strangers palace and make a complete lifestyle change. She left her comfort to be courageous. Then when she had adjusted to the life of luxury she was given the opportunity to again forgo comfort and be even more courageous and risk her life to save her people. She didn't have to do any of it. She could have told Mordecai in the beginning that she wasn't chosen to go to the palace and stayed home in the life that she knew, but she didn't.<br />
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In an attempt to link the first paragraph with the rest of the story, living a life of comfort is great. It doesn't have to be a palace, but just being around family makes you feel richer and more comfortable than Bill Gates. But, it's not always what we are called to do. Mordecai tells Esther that if she doesn't make the decision to try to save her people, with time, someone else will and they will be victorious, but look at the situation, you are here now! You, a Jewish woman have been made queen exactly when we are in need of a person of power to stand for us. Maybe this is what you are meant to do! Sometimes we are called to leave what makes us comfortable and choose to be courageous. I have felt that I am meant to go places and do things since I was a little girl. Until the last couple years, I have chosen to stay comfortable driven by anxiety, worry, and doubt.What I failed to grasp is that God loves me. If you haven't read Ephesians, read it and then when you've finished, read it again. While my future is a mystery to me, it is a lovingly crafted memory to Him. I don't have to let anxiety, worry, and doubt drive my life because with Him, I can be courageous. When I choose to allow Christ to fill me up and wash over me, I can do exactly what He has called me to do because I'm not driving my life anymore, He is. This doesn't mean I don't struggle everyday with it, but it does mean that at the end of the day, I choose to trust He knows what He's doing. He allows the little girl me to be proud of the adult me. Who knows when our choices to be courageous will lead us to exactly the moment that makes us who He made us to be.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-57971022174127883932013-02-04T19:11:00.003-06:002013-05-05T14:59:34.526-05:00Things I've learned While Being a Nanny.I have recently started working as a nanny in a town outside Nashville. I am starting this post to share some of the things I learn while caring for the sweetest little four year old boy and an almost two year old little girl who has Down Syndrome who already has me wrapped around her finger...<br />
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1A. To mine and all the other mom's out there: What you do on a 24/7 365 day basis is extraordinary. I get to go to my quiet, kid-free home at 5:30. Thanks for everything.</div>
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1B. I won't be having kids anytime soon. I love them to pieces, but I also love sending them home.<br />
2.The preschool pick up lane is serious business. Beginners not advised. </div>
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3. You never get used to a 4 year old who reads at a second grade level. Especially when he asks to play Angry Birds on your phone and instead decides to go through your email.</div>
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4. Trying to explain that Iowa is just another state in the United States and not a planet in outer space is darn near impossible, especially when the 4 year old asking the questions reeeaalllyy wants his new nanny to be an alien. It's also even more impossible not to go along with it. Whenever he asked a question about Iowa started the sentence with, "Back on your home planet..."</div>
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5. Nap time is gold.</div>
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6. Laundry isn't so bad when the clothes are smaller than your face. (And the parents buy the kids clothes with impeccable style.)</div>
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7. 4 year old logic is the best logic. Example: "I am so brave because I can hang on the first monkey bar. I only hang on this one because it is the monkey bar that protects me when I am sleeping at night. But, I can't hang on the others because we haven't been introduced yet."</div>
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8. Focapontas is waaaay better than Pocahontas. And, Pocahontas is a little bit hard to say.</div>
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9. January 31st is bubble wrap appreciation day. (It was on a calendar he brought home from preschool)</div>
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10. Singing "Itsy bitsy spider" 37 million times is kind of worth it when a little girl squeals and laughs while signing "out came the sun..."</div>
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11. They're <b><i><u>always</u></i></b> hungry....unless it's lunch time.<br />
12. Routine is used in a hazy context.<br />
13. Brushing our teeth is a new and terrifying concept every single morning.</div>
14. There needs to be a Rosetta Stone for reasons kids are crying.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0Nashville, Nashville36.166668 -86.78333tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-38461565661148676722012-12-24T00:46:00.001-06:002012-12-24T11:12:39.813-06:00A Child-Like Fearless Faith<div><p><p>I had a dream last night. Well, actually it was kind of a nightmare. I was in a theater like room that had red and black stadium seating, red fabric walls, a red platform in front and a black sound booth in the back over my head. It looked a lot like my hometown movie theater. I'm not sure who exactly I was with but the back row that I was in was full, there was an empty row in front of us and then the rest of the seats were full. I remember the woman teaching was a lady named Karla Chesnutt, and her husband Shawn was running sound. At some point, when the dream started going downhill, a kid who looked like Justin Bieber made a comment about one of the empty chairs in front of my row, Karla turned into my freshman science teacher, and a kid who looked to be around my age was suddenly holding a shot gun and said that he was going to start shooting. I was resting my head on the shoulder of the person next to me and had one of those flashes of dream knowledge where I knew that I was going to die. The shooter and I started having a conversation that I don't remember, then I remember seeing my dream self as if I was sitting in that empty seat. I leaned back in my chair, turned my head to the side, and felt the spray of bullets on the right side of my face and neck. Then, I woke up.</p>
<p>Being involved in a shooting is my biggest fear. So, naturally, this dream stuck with me all day long. Around 5 a close friend asked if my mom and I wanted to go see Rise of the Guardians with her and her mom. I wanted to go to spend time with these friends, but that dream flooded my mind. We agreed to go, and instantly I wondered if I had just volunteered to face my biggest fear. We walked in and my friends mom choose our seats, in the middle, one row from the top. The row in front of us was empty and a family sat in the next one after that. The seats were red and black stadium seats. The walls were made of red fabric. Folks, I got real uncomfortable. I considered faking an illness just to get us out of there. The lights dimmed and the movie started and I started praying for protection really, REALLY hard. </p>
<p>Sidenote: Here's the plot of the movie as told by Wikipedia: The spirit of winter, Jack Frost, describes how he came to be hundreds of years ago, lifted from the depths of a frozen lake by the Man in the Moon, and has been invisible ever since because people don't believe in him. At the North Pole, Nicholas St. North, better known as Santa Claus, is alerted that Pitch the Bogeyman has returned and is threatening childhood with fear. After summoning fellow Guardians the Tooth Fairy (Tooth) the Easter Bunny (E. Aster Bunnymund) and the Sandman (Sandy), North learns from the Man in the Moon that they are to induct Jack as their new member. Jack is brought to North's headquarters and they attempt to swear him in. Jack, frustrated by centuries of isolation caused by children's disbelief in him, declines to join. Regardless, North persuades him to cooperate for now by explaining their mission and the looming threat of Pitch. </p>
<p>2nd Sidenote: I need to take a step back and talk about church this morning. I was 100% not in the mood for it. I was tired, annoyed with the world, and really just wanted to watch The Office. So, the sermon about expecting to hear from God and some of the ways He talks to us, had absolutely no appeal or affect on me. Or so I thought until I saw this movie. Then I realized God was having a 97 minute meaningful conversation with me through an animated holiday children's movie.  </p>
<p>There were tons of themes in this movie that could be linked back to Christian beliefs but the one that hit me hard was one about fear. Pitch changes the world as kids know it by filling their dreams with fear. I firmly believe that one of the way Satan gets to us is through our dreams. He has really gotten to me a lot in the past year by filling my mind with fear. Fear leads to doubt and disbelief, once he has his foot in the door, Satan creates mayhem. Nothing about fear is constructive especially because Jesus told us, that because we have Him we literally have nothing to fear because He already fought and conquered it. One line at the end of the movie said by the star kid to Pitch when Pitch seems to have the upper hand on the fight is, "I believe in you, but I'm not afraid of you." This takes all of the power that Pitch had over the kids. Back in reality, we believe that Satan is real and that he can and does attack us. BUT, when we choose to believe and trust in the Lord, Jesus takes the fear out of facing Satan's attacks.</p>
<p>The movie also puts a huge emphasis on the faith and belief of children. The star kid, Jamie, is the last one who believes in them and he refuses to let his friends tell him any differently. He believes so fiercely that when facing all the fear in the world, he stands firm without any second thoughts or hesitation. Jamie had also never seen Santa or the tooth fairy but he believed them to be true- so much that he was willing to risk his life for them. Even more so, he was willing to face ridicule and judgment from his friends because they no longer believed. We are so called to a faith like that. A deep, playful, carefree, whole hearted faith with no strings or conditions. </p>
<p>Through this movie, God not only reminded me that a life with Him means a life without fear, but also that life in Him is joyful. While it is not without struggles and difficult situations, it calls for a child-like faith without limits, fear, or conditions. A faith that will never fail to see you through every single day. As I was watching the movie and hearing the things God was saying I heard, "I am yours, you are my beloved, there is no reason to live your life in fear because I have never and will never leave you. This is my promise to you as your Guardian, as your Father." What sweet words to hear in the middle of Satans war with fear and doubt. It's amazing what happens when you decide that you're not going to listen at church when the sermon was one that you were ment to hear. </p>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-56467038643837352182012-11-03T00:12:00.001-05:002012-11-03T00:12:28.982-05:00Let's pray for each other, y'all. <div><p>Hello friends, I hope this Friday night is treating you well! I have some prayer requests for you if you would be so kind as to help me take these things to God.</p>
<p>The first is for my mom, Lynn. My mom is my rock. She is my heart and soul. She is that little voice on my head saying, "Jooorrrdaaannn, what are you doing?" when I could probably be making better decisions. On October 19th this woman who has devoted her life to being God's servant and serving every single person she meets, was diagnosed with breast cancer. While the seeing the "C" word and my mom used in the same sentence still gives me the willies, the doctors have assured us that she has the most ideal situation (for one having to endure this situation at all). The cancer was found during a routine mammogram and was caught so early, it would have been years before the would have even felt a lump or and hint of sickness. It is also a much less aggressive form than others making it less of an emergency. Even still, my mama requires a double mastectomy to make sure we won't be back here in 5years. This is a lot of trauma to her body but also mentally and emotionally. I ask that you pray complete and permanent healing over her body, peace in her mind, and security in her heart.</p>
<p>My mom is one if God's most special creations. She is all that I strive to be, the best teacher I have ever had, and my reminder that no matter what problem I'm facing, what situation I'm in, there is always some good. During the worst season of our lives, her smile, while sometimes accompanied with tears, was true and sincere. Through her example she taught me how to serve, how to encourage, and how to love. My mama taught me to live leading with my heart, trusting the One who gave it to me to guide it perfectly.</p>
<p>My second request is for my stepdad, Darrin. Darrin had to watch his mom battle cancer more than once and then saw it take her life. To say this diagnosis has been taxing is an understatement. Darrin has shown my family how sweet life can be. When he came into our lives, I was 16. All I saw was another man who would hurt and let me down. When I employed my mother's positive thinking, I selfishly saw at best a two parent income and the possibility of getting a cell phone. It took a long time before my heart softened towards him but it was inevitable. This man is the heart of God. He cares about people more deeply than I could imagine. He loves my sister and I as his own, even when my actions should have turned him away. He shows us everyday how a husband treats his wife and how a father treats his kids. He shows me that the love God has for his kids. Whatta guy. I ask that you pray for reassurance and comfort in his heart, peace in his mind, and strength in his faith in the face of his fears.</p>
<p>The third request is for a new friend I have and her family. They are seeing God move in their lives in a radical way. He is calling their family to grow in both size and in faith, and that's hard. For them I pray for clarity, wisdom, and courage to obey without hesitation.</p>
<p>My last request is for a few of my own issues. Right now, I'm really frustrated with my work situation. I have a heart for God's will but an obedience problem. I can't wait to leave Applebee's and begin my career, but need to wait for God to give me the go ahead. Patience has never been my strong suit. I am feeling led towards using my degree in a rehab setting for people struggling with drug and alcohol addiction. I don't know if that is Spirit led or the new fad of the week for me but I'd love to figure it out. I also and still struggling health wise. I am seeing a doctor here who says I was mis diagnosed with Lymes. This is good, as Lymes is incredibly annoying but he believes that I have had mono for the past 7 months which is a loooooong time for symptoms to be present. There is no treatment for mono, only symptom management. Relief from constant physical pain, extreme fatigue and dizziness would be great. The last request is for my trust in His provision. I am more broke than a bad joke. This is nothing I am unfamiliar with (I like shoes), but a constant test of faith and I struggle with doubt. I have given God control of my finances, now I just want the doubts gone.</p>
<p>I don't know how many people read this, but I havery been told Jesus said where two or more are gathered in His name, He is there. I would be forever grateful if y'all would help me out on these. I would also love for you to post your own prayer requests below in the comment section so I, and everyone who sees them can cover you with blessings. I'm pretty sure this counts as two or more, because I know He is here.</p>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0Nashville, Nashville36.166668 -86.78333tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-47083362997236337752012-10-15T00:30:00.000-05:002012-10-14T23:46:12.933-05:00Update: Nashville Style!!<div>Hey Y'all, happy Fall!! I've heard that back home the weather is very fall-y. Here in Nashville, we're a little confused and still think it's summer with highs near 80. I can't wait for that to change!<br />
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As it has been about a month and a half since I have moved to Nashville to follow this adventure, I figure I had better fill you in on all of the things that have been happening! First off, here is a little back story about how I got to here. I was finishing up my internship in Illinois in a community recreation facility that was not hiring at the time. My options were to enroll into grad school, or go back to Iowa neither were appealing. Then, a friend from camp asked if I wanted to spend a year or so in Nashville as she got into grad school at Vanderbilt. I prayed about it and on the day that she needed an answer, I found out that I would be coming into the right amount of money to allow me to do this. I took this as God's answer and committed.The week I was home, we struggled to find a trailer, I felt really sick, and we learned my car was completely undriveable. We were wondering if I was supposed to move to Nashville at all with all of the obstacles in the way but lo and behold, two days before it was time to make the 12 hour drive, a family from church let us know that they had an old car right in our price range they needed to sell and we got a trailer! The move went great thanks to my wonderful, loving parents who spent a lot of time and money on their most expensive daughter :) Thanks again, Mama and Darrin!!<br />
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Right away I begin sending out my resume and after about 150 job applications, an interview and job offer at a fortune 500 marketing firm (I know,weird right?!), several calls from banks and insurance companies, I interviewed and was offered a position at a group home as a direct care staff with promise of promotion to house coordinator within six months. During this time I also accepted a position as a server at Applebee's. I accepted the job at the group home with an ecstatic and very bright outlook on my future. Soon after accepting the position, I began to work with them on getting ready for training and lots of information that was not given in the interviews came out. The feeling that I had gotten about this job being the answer to my prayers as the start to my Recreation Therapist career soon turned to a really low time. I felt as if I had made a terrible mistake coming to Nashville, I was feeling worse than ever, and everything thing I was doing was being undermined in some way that left me two steps further back than when I had begun. After long hours in prayer and lots of time talking with my Mom, I called the group home and told that I was unable to continue the training process and would not be able to accept the position. As soon as I hung up the phone, I felt this huge weight just lift off of my shoulders. As discouraging as it was to have a really great start to my life career and be back to square one, it was the right move.<br />
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Aannnnnnd that's when it hit me, I came upon the realization that I was learning another one of God's supa fun lessons about how much more He has in store for me than I could ever come up with myself. Here are some of those realizations:<br />
1. Listening to God, and following directions the first time around is much more constructive than trying to make your own path (you'd think I would know this by now). I was praying for God to provide me with His perfect job that He led me to Nashville for. The whole time, the answer I was receiving was simply "wait." Of course, I told Him waiting was silly, and after long, nightly discussions explaining the concept of rent and utilities and the first day of the month in which these were due with the Being who created the universe, He humored me and and allowed me to play out my plan for my life with an attractive looking, and promising job, the whole time saying, "wait." My plans fell through and gave way to the only other possibility, to wait.<br />
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2. God listens to my prayers. I was praying for His perfect job, He had already given me the one He had in mind for me right now. I was also telling Him that while I fully respect His working in mysterious ways, I really suck at discerning them and could He please be a little less subtle- I took the job on my plan, the one that I thought was perfect and that He will later use to show me how awesome His plan is, and BOOM all I felt was depressed. You can't get much more blunt than removing all the joy from one's life. Thanks, God.<br />
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3. Trust, trust, trust, TRUST, in the Father's love for His kids, it's a good love. Once I figured out that my fear of not having enough money for bills was taking over my faith in His plan and His timing, I actually listened to Him and agreed to wait. Instantly upon giving into to the Lord and all he has for me I began to see all of the little ways he had already answered my prayers. When I began to do His work, the provision was overwhelming. We have a good God.<br />
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Throughout my whole learning experience, I was working at Applebee's (my original plan at a supplemental income to my career income.) It is important to mention here that I had applied to restaurants <b><i><u>all over </u></i></b>Nashville. This particular Applebee's is about a mile away from the group home's main office and I would not have found it if I had not applied for the group home job. Anyway, I LOVE this job and I know that this simple waitressing job was one of the main reasons I was supposed to move to Nashville. My coworkers are fantastic. They were (and continue to be) so patient with me as I figured out what I was doing, they have taken the time to accept me into the "day shift crew," they're so incredibly good at what they do and are amazing teachers. Unfortunately, while they give out all these blessings to their regulars, the managers, and their families, I feel like they haven't had many given back to them from those who they bless. I'm pretty positive that the main reason I got this job, was to be a light in a place where there may not be much light at all. It is the best feeling knowing that blessing these people everyday is one of the purposes of my life. That being the person with the personality that God gave me is the exact perfect fit for this situation. This realization really makes Him come alive in me. I am putting my full financial faith in Him to provide for me with His job and by doing His work, it's not easy but I can tell you that it is fun to have your mind blown so regularly watching Him do His work. And,while it is <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">so incredibly hard </u>to move 12 hours away from your life and family and friends and everything, to be told to wait, I am happy to do it. At this time, prayers for patience would not be unwelcome :)<br />
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Along the lines of work and career paths, on October 5th I passed my the National Certification exam to become an official Certified Therapeutic Recreation Therapist! I am Jordan A. Gage, CTRS!!!! It's pretty sweet having credentials behind your name, not gonna lie. While I know that therapeutic recreation and the skills I have acquired over the past 4 years will somehow relate to the calling on my life, I maintain that I don't think God will be using me in the traditional TR sense. I'm not sure what that means or why I needed to spend $450 to take the most stressful test of my life (not that I'm bitter about it or anything), but I know that when I find out it will be worth the anguish. (dramatic, I know.)<br />
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On another note, I really wanted to get back into the church going lifestyle and found a great one about 30 minutes away from my house! I have been attending Grace Church: Nashville for the past month and love it. I have always loved my home church, the Heartland Vineyard in Cedar Falls but this church rocks. I learned a lot about the Holy Spirit back home and thought I knew what they were talking about, but I didn't have a clue. This church WORSHIPS. Like, WOOOORRRSSHHIPPPSSSS. It's amazing. I think part of the reason I like it and it feels so differently here, is because right now, I'm anonymous. I always felt distracted and watched in my home church because I knew everyone. I had attended since I was 8 and had been leading services in the kids ministry every week from ages 11-21. I would sit through service thinking about school, or how the teachers were doing in the Kidzone and how I should be back helping rather than sitting in church and wouldn't allow myself be open to the teaching and what God had for me that day in worship. Now, I find it easier to surrender myself to the Holy Spirit and am really learning to how to worship and how amazing it is. I have also gone to a young adult's bible study on Thursday nights and can't wait to get to know the people more. Thes</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-85730321579695327312012-09-13T18:42:00.001-05:002012-09-13T21:22:40.269-05:00Time Travels<div><p>First off, I'd like to apologize for the lack of regular posting. But, this blog was never intended to be a daily update of my life and it's happenings (that's clearly Facebook's job). It was intended as an outlet for things that I feel I'm supposed to write about. When I post a new entry, its topic or topics are the things that I have been unable to get off of my mind for quite a while until such time when I know it's time to write them down.</p>
<p>This brings me too the first of a few topics that I feel are supposed to be in this post. Time. </p>
<p>Time is kind of a funny concept if you think about it. The whole world follows this schedule, based on the rising and setting of the sun that somehow puts all the events of our lives into order. It gives them a duration, and separates the past from the present from the future. This little four letter word is so incredibly important to us. We refuse to waste it, and go to limitless lengths to be sure we don't; we would go even farther to try and get more of it. We put so much stress on ourselves to ensure that we are spending it in just the right ways. What's more, we all have a different outlook on what is right and what is not. I don't think this way of thinking is all that out of line. After all, we all know we have an uncertain amount if time in this world that could run out without warning.</p>
<p>My dilemma with time is not if I am wasting it, because I do not believe time can be wasted. Something can come out of every minute of every day. My dilemma is am I spending it correctly? Am I where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. Right now, I am having quite the time in Nashville, Tennessee. I love it here. I've been here only two weeks, have a fun job serving at Applebee's, and am in the running for my first "career type" full time position managing a group home. I know this is where I am supposed to be, I really do. But I can't deny that I have doubts. The doubts stem from the concept in question: Time. Because I don't know how much time I have, I want to spend all of it with those I love. I have this nagging feeling that time for burying myself in my favorite place on the planet, my family's arms, is limited. If anything were to happen, I wouldn't regret coming to Nashville, but I would regret not spending every second I was here with my family. I know where these doubts come from. They come from the same place that planted doubts in the strongest of Christian believers. But because these doubts hit me at my absolute heart they are hard to ignore (as was intended).</p>
<p>Even though I have these doubts, I still feel confident that am doing the right thing in the right place. I am confident because when I'm doing the right thing I get this awesome feeling. It's that feeling you get when after being at war with yourself over a decision and finally choose which path you're going to take. That feeling that starts as a smile and then fills you from the inside out; when your head finally sees your heart is right. That's the feeling that I make decisions on. When I get that feeling, I know that I am following God's plan for my life. That's the feeling I got when I chose my internship, the feeling I got when I said yes to Nashville, and the feeling I got after my first interview for this career job. </p>
<p>I understand that for some it is really hard to wrap your head around this concept. The concept that a superior being has our every decision planned out for us, and has since before the beginning of time. But I believe it. It's kind of like time. You can't see time, but you can feel it. I can't see God's plan (much to my dismay), but I can feel it. It feels like a smile. Like when my head finally realizes my heart is right.</p>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-44588509620343602032012-08-19T21:38:00.001-05:002012-08-19T22:59:21.627-05:00Oh, right. I have a blog.<div><p>I just realized it's been for-ev-ver since I last posted..my bad! (props to whoever got the Sandlot reference in the previous sentence and said forever correctly!) I have been insanely busy in Aurora, Illinois working on my internship, and now with only 3.5 days left (WHAT?!?) I should probably let you know what I did! </p>
<p>As I'm pretty sure I mentioned in a previous post my responsibilities included conducting assessments, working with the Inclusion team (the team that places skilled individuals to work with the kids who want to participate in general programming in their home park district), planning and leading programs, assisting with special events and other programs and most recently, volunteering with the Lose the Training Wheels program. </p>
<p>Lose the Training Wheels is a non-profit based out of Pennsylvania that travels the country hosting a Monday-Friday bike camp that teaches kids with special needs how to ride their bikes without training wheels. This was without a doubt the most incredible week of my internship. The program used adapted bikes with rollers instead of a back tire that  help the kids build leg strength and also work on their balance. As they improved, the rollers were changed out and became skinnier and skinnier until they were the width of a normal bike tire. When they mastered that, the kids were put on bike with two wheels and off they went! I was amazed at how fast they would pick it up. We had some kids riding completely independently on Wednesday. Some of these kids' parents were told that their child would never have the motor skills and or the ability to ride a two wheeled bike. Almost all if these kids were the ones who mastered it. </p>
<p>We were all partnered up with a rider and responsible for helping them learn to ride. It was awesome to see your kid start out the week all wibbly-wobbly and so hesitant on turns, and then watching them gain the confidence to ride a bit faster, and then a bit more. They got better and better to the point where you're sprinting after them telling them to slow down and not take the turn at 40 miles an hour. But then, the magic moment would come. The bike guys would bring out that glorious two wheeler. Your rider would look at it with huge eyes, bursting with nervous excitement. They looked at you and then for their parents who looked back with the same emotion filled eyes as their kids. We would park their bike and the camp leader would take them on those first few runs on two wheels. It was so awesome to see their faces on those first few runs. Some had smiles that threatened to crack their cheeks, some had a look of absolute concentration. Their parents were usually speechless, tears streaming down their new pride filled faces, recording every wonderful minute. </p>
<p>The best part was then after they were off the two wheeled bike for the first time. Everyone had been cheering their name, hooting, hollering and clapping for them. They are pulled to a stop, get off on shaky legs and dive into a waiting mom or dads arms. My favorite was a little guy who was nine years old and quite reserved. He rode his roller bike around the track quietly, focused and working hard. He was one of the first to be offered the two wheeler. The bike guys called his name and he walked over looking even more serious and got on. His mom was completely still, gave her camera to the mom next to her and white-knuckeled her chair. Little Man was up, they ran/rode together for the first few runs but then the camp director took his hand off of the handle, he was riding completely independently for a good 20 yards! They turned around and this time went about 40 yards. He was a natural! The director told him to hop off and get some water but as soon as his feet hit the ground his solemn little face erupted into the biggest, brightest, proudest smile and he ran straight to his mom who was bawling her eyes out. That smile and the hug that followed brought almost every volunteer to tears. He was so proud! He finally accomplished something he had always wanted to do. It was beautiful. When he finally let go and ran right back to that bike, he didn't stop riding for the rest of the week. He proved we are not disabled because of our disabilities. We are able because of our abilities.</p>
<p>On another, less heart warming note my internship is ending in 4 short days. Even though I don't plan on staying in community recreation, I am still completely thrilled I got this internship. I learned so much about te fundamentals of Therapeutic  Recreation and the process that it follows. I was given the opportunity to plan a lead a variety of programs and do a rainforest worth of paperwork. It was all so worth the exhausting schedule and overwhelming days in the office till 10. This Thursday I will drive back HOME to IOWA and present my experience to the LYHS underclassmen and turn in a paper (a paper that inspired this blog post. Love procrastination) and be officially done with college! I still plan on attending grad school and hopefully reforming the human services field but I will wait until the thought of sitting through classes doesn't give me an instant headache. So, after the poster presentation I will enjoy the luxury of being at home for about a week. I am SO excited for this. I have really missed being in familiar surroundings and seeing the faces that I love the most. While I am not ready to come home permanently, this past 6 months away have definitely made me cherish my home time more than ever. While I've been in Aurora, I've been actually very reserved and focused on my internship. Weird right? I've even started running because it helps me sort out intern problems and figure stuff out. I'm looking forward to being myself again! </p>
<p>After my week at home I am so very excited to move to Nashville,Tennessee! One of my friends from camp got into an amazing graduate program at Vanderbilt University and while visiting me in Chicago, she asked me and another awesome friend of we wanted to move down with her. I am SO happy that it worked out and that I have the opportunity to go! I have committed to a year in which time I will be working my butt off and while having a great freaking time, will be saving money to put into those accounts named India and Camp :) I wish I could tell you the name of said job but as of right now, I don't have one. I would love to explore a couple other facets of TR before I choose a full time job but I am trusting that that will all fall into place as it is supposed to. I'm not worried.</p>
<p>As some of you know, I have been battling some health issues. Last March I had some sort of allergic reaction that caused my ear canals to swell shut causing vertigo. Well, that vertigo never went away and brought along with it pretty extreme fatigue and some vision issues. This along with some other symptoms had me seeing doctor after ENT specialist after neurologist, who all told me I just had some funky virus that would basically come and go for he rest of my life. We wanted to rule out whatever we could so I got tested for Lymes Disease. Turns out, I've got it. I only remember being bit by a tick on my ear in 4th or 5th grade but considering I spent the better part of last year running around in the woods at Camp, who knows when I got it. Anyway, I'll see some doctors hopefully soon, get on some antibiotics for a few months and be good to go forever! After all this time, I am just praising God that we have a name for what is going on and a plan of attack! </p>
<p>All in all, I can't complain. I've  been granted 22 years in this world and they have been pretty great. From the experiences I've had as I transition into real life adulthood, I can only imagine what the next 22 will bring. I wish I could say I have a plan  but I think we all know that's not true. Plus, it wouldn't be anywhere as great as the plan that is already there for me. </p>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-56169749078440985132012-07-08T00:12:00.001-05:002012-07-08T00:12:25.515-05:00Transitions In my line of work, we spend almost as much time focusing on the transitions between one activity to another as we do on the activities themselves. <span style="background-color: white;">We do this because some of our clientele have a lot of anxiety in the unknown, especially when it comes to things that directly affect them. </span><span style="background-color: white;">We have lots of different techniques to do this such as writing out our schedule and going over it several times a day, creating picture schedules for those visual learners, doing "First/Then" boards which explain each activity of the day as first we do this, then we do this, or minute warnings 5, 3, and 1 minutes before it is time to switch activities. Through all of these transitioning techniques we are not only preparing them that one activity is going to end but we are giving instructions on what they need to do during transition time, and what they will be doing after the transition. Knowing all of this information enables everyone to have a smooth change in environment, activity, or expectation. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">This makes a lot of sense not only for the people I work with, but for everyone. Who wouldn't want to know what is expected of you now, what you are doing next, and exactly what you need to do to get there? I can't think of anyone who wouldn't appreciate it. Life would be a million times easier right? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Unfortunately, this is not how life works for a lot of the population; and it's definitely not how my life is run, much to my dismay. My transitions are not nearly as structured as this, and I feel like I am usually, if not always in the middle of one big change or another. In fact, </span><span style="background-color: white;">I have somehow stumbled into the one transitional point in my life I've always kind of dreaded. I have graduated college, am officially half way done with my internship, and in exactly seven weeks I am expected to be a REAL person. A fully functional, contributing, real-life member of society..AKA: a Grown-Up. I really envisioned myself to be like 27 when this happened. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Nope, 21almost22 and boom. Here it is. Of all the transitions I've had (and documented on this blog), this is "the one" that makes me want to find a shovel, dig a hole, set up shop and live underground until life fast forwards and I just<i> find</i> myself functional and stuff. I think the reason it is so much bigger than any of the other changes I've encountered is because my next step isn't into a situation that is geared around learning a specific set of skills and developing into a role. Instead it's taking that skill set and applying it without the support of professors and people who know you're learning and structure your time.</span><br />
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I've had a feeling that the last yearish of my life was merely transitional. I was more than happy at Camp last winter and spring, and I'm very pleased with my choice of organization to do my internship with and am very grateful for the experience I've had and will have for the next 7 weeks, but at both of these places I have felt a restlessness that I just cannot put my finger on. I think that I am being prepared for something bigger. Something that will use the skills I have been given in a way that completely makes total and perfect sense of everything I have experienced. I know that when it is time for me to know what this adventure is culminating to, all the random successes and the struggles I've had and the lessons I've learned from them will suddenly come together and I will see the amazing puzzle that I've been putting together. I don't think I will be using my skills in a traditional sense though. I think my degree will come into play somehow, but not as I learned it to be in school. The prospect of this huge adventure is absolutely thrilling and completely scary, but I suppose that's pretty typical for the unknown right? <br />
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As for now, I have 7 more weeks left in my internship. I am going into my 3rd full week of leading programs and it is going well. However, this has reinforced my previous thoughts of not wanting to work in community recreation at the level I am in now. I am enjoying my time here, but leading programs is just not my favorite thing. I would love a position in community recreation if I was at a coordinator level where I can oversee programs and implement the therapeutic recreation-y stuff while still interacting with the participants enough to maintain a strong rapport but not actually lead them. I would also like to work in a setting that is more geared towards physical therapy as well. Basically, this internship had showed me that other than Camp settings and physical therapy, I really have no idea where I want to go with my degree. **Enter stage left: whatever it is that God is planning. The next step I am choosing to take because I am trying to figure out what God is up to is finding a good job that will allow me to build up a savings account so I can go to India and work with Loving His Lambs. I need a good sized savings account because I will not be receiving any sort of income while I am in India. But the Lord is really continuing to show me that He will take care of my finances though, as long as I have faith that He will. I was shocked and amazed yet again when He came through for me just yesterday. (we're going on 5 years of this being a regular event as I never seem to be able to make enough money and yet I continue to be totally shocked every time He happens.)<br />
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I have a plan on what I am going to do for the next year and I am hoping that it is actually what I'm hearing from God according to His plan, and not just what I want to do. <u>(Prayers for this plan are completely encouraged.:)</u> I am also trying to incorporate "Our" and "we" as opposed to "I" into my vocabulary so that I'm always remembering that it's God's plan for my life, not my plan for my life. I am not doing anything, We are doing everything. With His help I'm going to start getting back into His word and hopefully He will let me figure out this next adventure. I know that everything happens in perfect timing, and He only lets us see what we are ready for, but sometimes <strike>(all the time)</strike> I wish He would help me with transitions the way I help with transitions.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-46227497077565681322012-06-17T19:39:00.001-05:002012-06-18T00:04:17.514-05:00Unsaid Words of Love<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">"Father and Daughter" </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Award winning short film by <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 17px;">Michaël Dudok de Wit. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #162527; line-height: 28px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Although it makes me kind of sad, I like this film. It's the story of a father who leaves his daughter and rows off into the ocean, it begins with two figures riding their bicycles, the smaller of the wheels in perfect symmetry with the larger. The father and daughter climb to the top of a hill at which point the father looking at his daughter the way only a father can, hugs his daughter before climbing down to the seashore. He cannot resist running back and holding the girl one last time before rowing off towards the distant horizon. The girl runs up and down against the skyline waving as the sun gradually sets. There is no explanation. She returns again and again to her vantage point on the cliff to peer out to sea for his return. Each return marks a passage in her life from child to adolescent, mother and eventually old woman. And still she returns to search for the father who left her, longing for his love. In the end she dies and is reunited with her father in heaven. It is a joy filled, wonderful reunion. The gap in her life that was created at the absence of her father is now completely filled with his love.
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-83140607653642267922012-06-11T20:06:00.001-05:002012-06-11T20:06:17.828-05:00Intern Life (pt. 3)<div><p>Wow, I can't believe I'm posting about my third week in my internship! Time is flying! </p>
<p>This week was all about getting ready for when programs start, which was today. I was working with the full time staff program leaders and getting familiar with the preparation process. We made binders, talked about participant groupings, the overall flow of the program and lots of other stuff. I will spend the next two weeks observing and then I will begin making my own plans and leading them myself!</p>
<p>This past weekend I went on a trip with work to the Superman Celebration Festival in Metropolis, Illinois. For those of you who are unaware, that's Superman's hometown. It was awesome to see how excited the participants got when they would see a super hero they really liked and how they could barely contain themselves while taking pictures with them. The bus ride to lunch was noisy with talk about who's favorite super hero was stronger than someone else's favorite super hero and which participant was actually the real Thor or Spiderman in real life, and just hadn't revealed themselves yet.</p>
<p>After the festival we went to a waterpark and had a great time cooling off from the 90 degree weather. Eventually after going down all the slides and chillaxing in the lazy river, everyone wound up in the wave pool and the most epic battle of good against evil began. My coworkers and I were taken hostage but luckily Aquaman, Water Spiderman, and Superman were there, we were rescued and the day was saved. I think my favorite weapon that was used was "the power of confusion." It was a great weekend and I can't wait to do it all over again this weekend when we travel to the Illinois State Special Olympic Summer Games!</p>
<p>Lots of people have been asking me those typical "new intern" questions. Where are you from, how do you like your internship, and what's next? Most of these questions are extremely easy to answer. The one that always trips me up though, is "what's next for you?" I never know how to answer this question because I don't have a clue where I'm going to be in the next 2 months. I am (as I ALWAYS am) working on not worrying about it and rather just keeping my eyes and heart open and waiting to see what God puts in my path next. I would love to stay in Illinois and work for FVSRA, I would love to move to Maryland for the next two or three years and get my masters, and I would love if God took me to India and served with Loving His Lambs ministry with children who are orphaned and have special needs. I cannot wait to see if any of these options come through or to see what other adventure God has in store for me.<br></p>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-9672665252276398652012-06-05T00:03:00.000-05:002012-06-05T00:03:23.505-05:00Intern life (pt. 2)Hola, Bloggin' buddies!<br />
<br />
Week 2 is over and I am already a full day into week 3! What the heck? I seriously feel like I was dying of boredom on the drive from Iowa to Illinois like, 20 minutes ago. I cannot believe how incredibly fast time has flown!<br />
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I have been doing lots of training, lots of school stuff, and <u>lots</u> of learning. This week will be full of Day Camp orientation, where I will be talking to the staff about Therapeutic Recreation as a career and how beneficial it is. I won't be working at the Day camps but I hope to make it out there at some point to observe and see the campers! The biggest thing so far in this internship is learning the value of the little details. I have always been a "big idea" person, but never had the tools nor the knowledge of how to make it work. I am learning all the background things that go into a big idea. This meticulous process is probably one of the most valuable things I will learn during the whole 14 week internship. I am still SO excited to wake up and go to work everyday and you know, I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. :)<br />
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Ok, <i>slight</i> shift in topic. A friend of my mom's posted a status about one of her friends who is being led by God to MOVE to INDIA and set up a home for orphans with special needs. Yes, pack up her life in America, and literally move to India. INDIA! This is blowing my mind. She has a ministry set up there called <b>"Loving His Lambs" were her mission is to "rescue and rehabilitate orphaned and abandoned children with special needs in Alwal, India." Can you believe that? What an adventure. This is something only God could do.</b><br />
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In order to make this mission a reality, she needs some help. Follow this link <a href="http://networkedblogs.com/ynvGy" target="_blank">here</a> to her blog and to see the list of things she is needing to get started. I know that God has led her to this place, and I know that He won't leave her side in India until He opens her life up to her next great adventure. Please, help support her so she can support these kids who as of right now, have literally nothing.<br />
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I have always been envious of people exactly like this woman. Someone who can clearly discern what God has planned for their life, jump on the opportunity, and do things like pack their bags and move to India to start a ministry from the ground up. I crave faith like that. Just earlier today I was thinking I was pretty proud of myself for moving 5 hours away from home. Pretty dull in comparison. I think it's time to get a passport.<br />
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I would also ask that you completely saturate this cause and this woman with prayer. I know I am definitely going to. I am also praying that He would use me to help in any way that I can. I don't know what God has in store for me for the next few years, heck I don't have a clue what I'm going to do in 11 weeks and 6 days when this internship is up, but I do know that God does, and that He is waiting for the exact right moment to reveal it to me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-50156401038196701612012-05-28T21:57:00.000-05:002012-05-28T21:59:10.648-05:00Intern Life (pt. 1)<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hello friends!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happy Memorial Day! Thank you to all the past and present men and women who are fighting for our rights and our freedom! Especially to my mom, dad, uncle and cousin for their time in the service! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well as you may have heard I am a resident of Illinois for (at least) the next three months as I complete my internship! I have one week under my belt and I am so reassured that I made the right decision about coming here!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First of, can I talk about the facilities. A-MAY-ZA-ZING. I threw an extra syllable in there because it's totally necessary. If you want to see a glimpse of it, <a href="http://www.foxvalleyparkdistrict.org/?q=node/26" target="_blank">here's the link</a> to the Vaughn Athletic Center's website. Watch the video in the corner (shout out to the man going across the net monkey bar things in the pool, I KNOW HIM!). Anyway, the facilities allow the clients to have endless limits. The VAC is the Fox Valley park districts recreation center, my department is Fox Valley Special Recreation Association, which operates out of the VAC. I originally thought that FVSRA was it's own entity in it's own building, but I like this way better because it provides an inclusive environment and is busting barriers and stereotypes against people with special needs every single day! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My first week was a lot of orientation stuff, meeting
everyone within the department and talking to them about their specific jobs
and responsibilities to get a better overall feel of the organization. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I have also been doing a lot of work with FVSRA's
adult programs coordinator. Her name is Marcella, and she's my "mentor."She is in charge of programming for the Adult Day programs. They do tons of different programs
ranging from volunteer projects, to exercise programs, to an Skype art class done
with another adult day program in Ohio. It's really cool. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">I also got my first round of
programs that I will be leading! My first big task is to take a group of
athletes to the Illinois State Special Olympic games in Power Lifting,
Swimming, gymnastics and bocce ball. I just completed the coaches training and
will be helping out at the last few weeks of practices for them! I am also leading </span></span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Field trip Fridays- a program that takes
several different age groups to different sites around the cities. </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sensory art,
which is creating an art experience that not only creates something awesome but engages each of the five senses. </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Splash N Play which
is a pool program. They have a mini water park at the facility the program involves new ways twice a week to do gross motor therapy while they play. </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pee Wee sports with 3-5 year olds. ohmygosh. (I'm unsure if I will be able to handle that much adorable twice a week) </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Movin' and Groovin'
program which gets young adults active in recreational activities while working
on life skills. </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aquatic Fitness class for adults and Super Saturdays which is a combination of
play, sensory, and movement all wrapped up in an hour and a
half!</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For all of these programs I will observe and get a general feel for the first 2 days, and then jump right in and take over for the remaining sessions! I have to manage budgets, set goals for the program and the participants, do all of
the assessment and intake procedures to group my participants, assess and
evaluate them 3 times throughout the program to make sure they are reaching their
goals, and do assessments and evaluations at the end to make sure/ improve goals
and objectives of the program. I think there is a few other tasks in there that
I've forgotten.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">The other half of my internship is spent with Inclusion. I am
SO very excited about this part. If a child decides they want to participate in
Park district (general) programming but needs accommodations, we pair them up
with a 1-on-1 or 2on1 aid. I think I am going to be doing my senior project
with the inclusion team and would love to stay with them after my internship. I
think I am most excited about this part because it is pure TR. From the initial
assessment to the final evaluation it is a constant process of progress notes,
goals and objectives, evaluations, hands on active interventions, one on one
work that will enable a kid to fully and equally participate in a community
recreation program! It's also an amazing thing to show the community and the
other kids that focusing on an individual’s abilities rather than a disability
is possible and much more productive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I spent this beautiful Memorial Day weekend exploring my new home and the cities around it. I spent most of my time reading in cute coffee shops and spending money at Half Price Books. It was a great weekend. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am going to try to update this specific entry weekly..so look for part 2 next week!</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7134683896517660564.post-68066436054953246452012-04-25T02:24:00.000-05:002012-06-05T09:36:09.944-05:00My ChoiceA few days ago, a close friend of mine and I were having a conversation that led to a question about faith. My friend asked me how when a person goes through horrible things that leave lasting physical, emotional, and mental scars, how does their faith not only persist, but remain strong and even grow? I tried to explain my thoughts on the spot, and completely and miserably failed. Since then the question has been on my mind constantly, and after spending lots of time in thought, I would like to try and give it another shot.<br />
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To me, having and keeping faith is an active choice that I make daily. The first thing I am choosing is to believe that God sent His son Jesus Christ to live a sin free life, and then die the ugliest of deaths for my sins, so that I may be forgiven and live forever in heaven with Him. That is John 3:16, Christianity in a nutshell. For me, that is the part that has been taught to me ever since I was a kindergartner in Chuck and Loraine's Sunday school class at my old church-the easy part. I choose to believe that is true, from the deepest parts of my heart.<br />
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Growing up, I found out pretty quickly that the world can be a very dark, cruel place. Sometimes things happen to people who believe in and are faithful to God that are unfair. They are things that are so un-Godly, they make you question the existence of Him at all. If there is a God, or a Jesus Christ, why the heck do things like this happen?! I think choosing faith means that at the end of the day, all your doubts are put to rest, not because they were answered but because you choose to believe in spite of them. (Not an easy task, friends).<br />
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My second choice is that part of believing in God, includes believing what He says. I haven't read the entire Bible (or you know, anywhere near that), but I love how it is said in <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+49&version=MSG" target="_blank">Isaiah 49</a> (especially verse 16, "I'll never forget you-never. Look, I have your name written on the palm of my hand"). Even though there are times in life where things just suck. When you've been hurt to the deepest depths of your heart, and you can't see God in any of it, He's there. I choose to believe that He is there. I choose to believe that He has a plan for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."<b> </b>Instead of Babylon, because I don't live there, and because I'm not Jeremiah, I feel God is saying to me, <b>"I know this sucks, and it's hurting you, but I promise, I'm here and I'm going to show you why. It's just not time yet. I know what I'm doing, I promise. I've got this. I am taking care of you, I'm right here, just be patient. Soon, you'll understand, and I can't wait to show you the beauty that is what's next." </b>I honestly cannot explain how amazing it makes me feel to type those words. It is my honor to choose to believe those words.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The hardest part about that choice is following through with my actions. Staying put, when all I want to do is run. Being patient, when all I want are answers. Staying silent, when every fiber of who I am is begging to collapse into someones arms and cry. All the while, showing nothing but His grace and His love to the ones who are causing the discomfort. Because I choose to live in His light, and to be the person He wants me to be, I choose to do these things too- to the absolute best of my ability.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Because I choose to believe He is my savior, that His word is true, and I choose give my honest to goodness best effort to walk in His shoes, I get to experience the best part. I get His joy. His joy cancels out the gross stuff, it shines out, magnifying all the amazing things I've been given, leaving the gross stuff </span>manageable<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and insignificant. I get to experience His hope. Hope in that future He told me about. Hope in the fact that my wildest dreams are bland in comparison to the plan He already has for me. Even in the darkest moments of my life, He put His hope in my heart, and I knew I was going to be okay. But the thing that I have been promised, before I was even a thought, the thing that out shines everything else He promised, is His Love. The unconditional, radiant, crazy love that underlines and intensifies everything else that is given, and restores all the damage and pain that I have ever felt. The love that only a Father could give, is mine for the taking. I'm still working on accepting it, but I know it's there. It's His love that brought me to the people, the places, and the experiences that I hold closest to my heart. And it's His love that will one day carry me home.</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07714843941995073361noreply@blogger.com0Monticello, IA 52310, USA42.2383351 -91.187093742.2148236 -91.226575700000012 42.2618466 -91.1476117