This makes a lot of sense not only for the people I work with, but for everyone. Who wouldn't want to know what is expected of you now, what you are doing next, and exactly what you need to do to get there? I can't think of anyone who wouldn't appreciate it. Life would be a million times easier right?
Unfortunately, this is not how life works for a lot of the population; and it's definitely not how my life is run, much to my dismay. My transitions are not nearly as structured as this, and I feel like I am usually, if not always in the middle of one big change or another. In fact, I have somehow stumbled into the one transitional point in my life I've always kind of dreaded. I have graduated college, am officially half way done with my internship, and in exactly seven weeks I am expected to be a REAL person. A fully functional, contributing, real-life member of society..AKA: a Grown-Up. I really envisioned myself to be like 27 when this happened.
Nope, 21almost22 and boom. Here it is. Of all the transitions I've had (and documented on this blog), this is "the one" that makes me want to find a shovel, dig a hole, set up shop and live underground until life fast forwards and I just find myself functional and stuff. I think the reason it is so much bigger than any of the other changes I've encountered is because my next step isn't into a situation that is geared around learning a specific set of skills and developing into a role. Instead it's taking that skill set and applying it without the support of professors and people who know you're learning and structure your time.
I've had a feeling that the last yearish of my life was merely transitional. I was more than happy at Camp last winter and spring, and I'm very pleased with my choice of organization to do my internship with and am very grateful for the experience I've had and will have for the next 7 weeks, but at both of these places I have felt a restlessness that I just cannot put my finger on. I think that I am being prepared for something bigger. Something that will use the skills I have been given in a way that completely makes total and perfect sense of everything I have experienced. I know that when it is time for me to know what this adventure is culminating to, all the random successes and the struggles I've had and the lessons I've learned from them will suddenly come together and I will see the amazing puzzle that I've been putting together. I don't think I will be using my skills in a traditional sense though. I think my degree will come into play somehow, but not as I learned it to be in school. The prospect of this huge adventure is absolutely thrilling and completely scary, but I suppose that's pretty typical for the unknown right?
As for now, I have 7 more weeks left in my internship. I am going into my 3rd full week of leading programs and it is going well. However, this has reinforced my previous thoughts of not wanting to work in community recreation at the level I am in now. I am enjoying my time here, but leading programs is just not my favorite thing. I would love a position in community recreation if I was at a coordinator level where I can oversee programs and implement the therapeutic recreation-y stuff while still interacting with the participants enough to maintain a strong rapport but not actually lead them. I would also like to work in a setting that is more geared towards physical therapy as well. Basically, this internship had showed me that other than Camp settings and physical therapy, I really have no idea where I want to go with my degree. **Enter stage left: whatever it is that God is planning. The next step I am choosing to take because I am trying to figure out what God is up to is finding a good job that will allow me to build up a savings account so I can go to India and work with Loving His Lambs. I need a good sized savings account because I will not be receiving any sort of income while I am in India. But the Lord is really continuing to show me that He will take care of my finances though, as long as I have faith that He will. I was shocked and amazed yet again when He came through for me just yesterday. (we're going on 5 years of this being a regular event as I never seem to be able to make enough money and yet I continue to be totally shocked every time He happens.)
I have a plan on what I am going to do for the next year and I am hoping that it is actually what I'm hearing from God according to His plan, and not just what I want to do. (Prayers for this plan are completely encouraged.:) I am also trying to incorporate "Our" and "we" as opposed to "I" into my vocabulary so that I'm always remembering that it's God's plan for my life, not my plan for my life. I am not doing anything, We are doing everything. With His help I'm going to start getting back into His word and hopefully He will let me figure out this next adventure. I know that everything happens in perfect timing, and He only lets us see what we are ready for, but sometimes