Transitions

 In my line of work, we spend almost as much time focusing on the transitions between one activity to another as we do on the activities themselves. We do this because some of our clientele have a lot of anxiety in the unknown, especially when it comes to things that directly affect them. We have lots of different techniques to do this such as writing out our schedule and going over it several times a day, creating picture schedules for those visual learners, doing "First/Then" boards which explain each activity of the day as first we do this, then we do this, or minute warnings 5, 3, and 1 minutes before it is time to switch activities. Through all of these transitioning techniques we are not only preparing them that one activity is going to end but we are giving instructions on what they need to do during transition time, and what they will be doing after the transition. Knowing all of this information enables everyone to have a smooth change in environment, activity, or expectation. 


This makes a lot of sense not only for the people I work with, but for everyone. Who wouldn't want to know what is expected of you now, what you are doing next, and exactly what you need to do to get there? I can't think of anyone who wouldn't appreciate it. Life would be a million times easier right?   


Unfortunately, this is not how life works for a lot of the population; and it's definitely not how my life is run, much to my dismay. My transitions are not nearly as structured as this, and I feel like I am usually, if not always in the middle of one big change or another. In fact, I have somehow stumbled into the one transitional point in my life I've always kind of dreaded. I have graduated college, am officially half way done with my internship, and in exactly seven weeks I am expected to be a REAL person. A  fully functional, contributing, real-life member of society..AKA: a Grown-Up. I really envisioned myself to be like 27 when this happened. 
Nope, 21almost22 and boom. Here it is. Of all the transitions I've had (and documented on this blog), this is "the one" that makes me want to find a shovel, dig a hole, set up shop and live underground until life fast forwards and I just find myself functional and stuff. I think the reason it is so much bigger than any of the other changes I've encountered is because my next step isn't into a situation that is geared around learning a specific set of skills and developing into a role. Instead it's taking that skill set and applying it without the support of professors and people who know you're learning and structure your time.

I've had a feeling that the last yearish of my life was merely transitional. I was more than happy at Camp last winter and spring, and I'm very pleased with my choice of organization to do my internship with and am very grateful for the experience I've had and will have for the next 7 weeks, but at both of these places I have felt a restlessness that I just cannot put my finger on. I think that I am being prepared for something bigger. Something that will use the skills I have been given in a way that completely makes total and perfect sense of everything I have experienced. I know that when it is time for me to know what this adventure is culminating to, all the random successes and the struggles I've had and the lessons I've learned from them will suddenly come together and I will see the amazing puzzle that I've been putting together. I don't think I will be using my skills in a traditional sense though. I think my degree will come into play somehow, but not as I learned it to be in school. The prospect of this huge adventure is absolutely thrilling and completely scary, but I suppose that's pretty typical for the unknown right?

As for now, I have 7 more weeks left in my internship. I am going into my 3rd full week of leading programs and it is going well. However, this has reinforced my previous thoughts of not wanting to work in community recreation at the level I am in now. I am enjoying my time here, but leading programs is just not my favorite thing. I would love a position in community recreation if I was at a coordinator level where I can oversee programs and implement the therapeutic recreation-y stuff while still interacting with the participants enough to maintain a strong rapport but not actually lead them. I would also like to work in a setting that is more geared towards physical therapy as well. Basically, this internship had showed me that other than Camp settings and physical therapy, I really have no idea where I want to go with my degree. **Enter stage left: whatever it is that God is planning. The next step I am choosing to take because I am trying to figure out what God is up to is finding a good job that will allow me to build up a savings account so I can go to India and work with Loving His Lambs. I need a good sized savings account because I will not be receiving any sort of income while I am in India. But the Lord is really continuing to show me that He will take care of my finances though, as long as I have faith that He will. I was shocked and amazed yet again when He came through for me just yesterday. (we're going on 5 years of this being a regular event as I never seem to be able to make enough money and yet I continue to be totally shocked every time He happens.)

I  have a plan on what I  am going to do for the next year and I am hoping that it is actually what I'm hearing from God according to His plan, and not just what I want to do. (Prayers for this plan are completely encouraged.:) I am also trying to incorporate "Our" and "we" as opposed to "I" into my vocabulary so that I'm always remembering that it's God's plan for my life, not my plan for my life. I am not doing anything, We are doing everything. With His help I'm going to start getting back into His word and hopefully He will let me figure out this next adventure. I know that everything happens in perfect timing, and He only lets us see what we are ready for, but sometimes (all the time) I wish He would help me with transitions the way I help with transitions.

Unsaid Words of Love

"Father and Daughter" 

Award winning short film by Michaël Dudok de Wit. 

Although it makes me kind of sad, I like this film. It's the story of a father who leaves his daughter and rows off into the ocean, it begins with two figures riding their bicycles, the smaller of the wheels in perfect symmetry with the larger. The father and daughter climb to the top of a hill at which point the father looking at his daughter the way only a father can, hugs his daughter before climbing down to the seashore. He cannot resist running back and holding the girl one last time before rowing off towards the distant horizon. The girl runs up and down against the skyline waving as the sun gradually sets. There is no explanation. She returns again and again to her vantage point on the cliff to peer out to sea for his return. Each return marks a passage in her life from child to adolescent, mother and eventually old woman. And still she returns to search for the father who left her, longing for his love. In the end she dies and is reunited with her father in heaven. It is a joy filled, wonderful reunion. The gap in her life that was created at the absence of her father is now completely filled with his love.

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Intern Life (pt. 3)

Wow, I can't believe I'm posting about my third week in my internship! Time is flying!

This week was all about getting ready for when programs start, which was today. I was working with the full time staff program leaders and getting familiar with the preparation process. We made binders, talked about participant groupings, the overall flow of the program and lots of other stuff. I will spend the next two weeks observing and then I will begin making my own plans and leading them myself!

This past weekend I went on a trip with work to the Superman Celebration Festival in Metropolis, Illinois. For those of you who are unaware, that's Superman's hometown. It was awesome to see how excited the participants got when they would see a super hero they really liked and how they could barely contain themselves while taking pictures with them. The bus ride to lunch was noisy with talk about who's favorite super hero was stronger than someone else's favorite super hero and which participant was actually the real Thor or Spiderman in real life, and just hadn't revealed themselves yet.

After the festival we went to a waterpark and had a great time cooling off from the 90 degree weather. Eventually after going down all the slides and chillaxing in the lazy river, everyone wound up in the wave pool and the most epic battle of good against evil began. My coworkers and I were taken hostage but luckily Aquaman, Water Spiderman, and Superman were there, we were rescued and the day was saved. I think my favorite weapon that was used was "the power of confusion." It was a great weekend and I can't wait to do it all over again this weekend when we travel to the Illinois State Special Olympic Summer Games!

Lots of people have been asking me those typical "new intern" questions. Where are you from, how do you like your internship, and what's next? Most of these questions are extremely easy to answer. The one that always trips me up though, is "what's next for you?" I never know how to answer this question because I don't have a clue where I'm going to be in the next 2 months. I am (as I ALWAYS am) working on not worrying about it and rather just keeping my eyes and heart open and waiting to see what God puts in my path next. I would love to stay in Illinois and work for FVSRA, I would love to move to Maryland for the next two or three years and get my masters, and I would love if God took me to India and served with Loving His Lambs ministry with children who are orphaned and have special needs. I cannot wait to see if any of these options come through or to see what other adventure God has in store for me.

Intern life (pt. 2)

Hola, Bloggin' buddies!

Week 2 is over and I am already a full day into week 3! What the heck? I seriously feel like I was dying of boredom on the drive from Iowa to Illinois like, 20 minutes ago. I cannot believe how incredibly fast time has flown!

I have been doing lots of training, lots of school stuff, and lots of learning. This week will be full of Day Camp orientation, where I will be talking to the staff about Therapeutic Recreation as a career and how beneficial it is. I won't be working at the Day camps but I hope to make it out there at some point to observe and see the campers! The biggest thing so far in this internship is learning the value of the little details. I have always been a "big idea" person, but never had the tools nor the knowledge of how to make it work. I am learning all the background things that go into a big idea. This meticulous process is probably one of the most valuable things I will learn during the whole 14 week internship. I am still SO excited to wake up and go to work everyday and you know, I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. :)

Ok, slight shift in topic. A friend of my mom's posted a status about one of her friends who is being led by God to MOVE to INDIA and set up a home for orphans with special needs. Yes, pack up her life in America, and literally move to India. INDIA! This is blowing my mind. She has a ministry set up there called "Loving His Lambs" were her mission is to "rescue and rehabilitate orphaned and abandoned children with special needs in Alwal, India." Can you believe that? What an adventure. This is something only God could do.

In order to make this mission a reality, she needs some help. Follow this link here to her blog and to see the list of things she is needing to get started. I know that God has led her to this place, and I know that He won't leave her side in India until He opens her life up to her next great adventure. Please, help support her so she can support these kids who as of right now, have literally nothing.

I have always been envious of people exactly like this woman. Someone who can clearly discern what God has planned for their life, jump on the opportunity, and do things like pack their bags and move to India to start a ministry from the ground up. I crave faith like that. Just earlier today I was thinking I was pretty proud of myself for moving 5 hours away from home. Pretty dull in comparison. I think it's time to get a passport.

I would also ask that you completely saturate this cause and this woman with prayer. I know I am definitely going to. I am also praying that He would use me to help in any way that I can. I don't know what God has in store for me for the next few years, heck I don't have a clue what I'm going to do in 11 weeks and 6 days when this internship is up, but I do know that God does, and that He is waiting for the exact right moment to reveal it to me.

Intern Life (pt. 1)

Hello friends!!


Happy Memorial Day! Thank you to all the past and present men and women who are fighting for our rights and our freedom! Especially to my mom, dad, uncle and cousin for their time in the service! 


Well as you may have heard I am a resident of Illinois for (at least) the next three months as I complete my internship! I have one week under my belt and I am so reassured that I made the right decision about coming here!


First of, can I talk about the facilities. A-MAY-ZA-ZING. I threw an extra syllable in there because it's totally necessary. If you want to see a glimpse of it, here's the link to the Vaughn Athletic Center's website. Watch the video in the corner (shout out to the man going across the net monkey bar things in the pool, I KNOW HIM!). Anyway, the facilities allow the clients to have endless limits. The VAC is the Fox Valley park districts recreation center, my department is Fox Valley Special Recreation Association, which operates out of the VAC. I originally thought that FVSRA was it's own entity in it's own building, but I like this way better because it provides an inclusive environment and is busting barriers and stereotypes against people with special needs every single day! 

My first week was a lot of orientation stuff, meeting everyone within the department and talking to them about their specific jobs and responsibilities to get a better overall feel of the organization.

I have also been doing a lot of work with FVSRA's adult programs coordinator. Her name is Marcella, and she's my "mentor."She is in charge of programming for the Adult Day programs. They do tons of different programs ranging from volunteer projects, to exercise programs, to an Skype art class done with another adult day program in Ohio. It's really cool. 

I also got my first round of programs that I will be leading!  My first big task is to take a group of athletes to the Illinois State Special Olympic games in Power Lifting, Swimming, gymnastics and bocce ball. I just completed the coaches training and will be helping out at the last few weeks of practices for them! I am also leading 

• Field trip Fridays- a program that takes several different age groups to different sites around the cities. 
• Sensory art, which is creating an art experience that not only creates something awesome but engages each of the five senses. 
• Splash N Play which is a pool program. They have a mini water park at the facility the program involves new ways twice a week to do gross motor therapy while they play. 
• Pee Wee sports with 3-5 year olds. ohmygosh. (I'm unsure if I will be able to handle that much adorable twice a week) 
• Movin' and Groovin' program which gets young adults active in recreational activities while working on life skills. 
• Aquatic Fitness class for adults and Super Saturdays which is a combination of play, sensory, and movement all wrapped up in an hour and a half!

For all of these programs I will observe and get a general feel for the first 2 days, and then jump right in and take over for the remaining sessions! I have to manage budgets, set goals for the program and the participants, do all of the assessment and intake procedures to group my participants, assess and evaluate them 3 times throughout the program to make sure they are reaching their goals, and do assessments and evaluations at the end to make sure/ improve goals and objectives of the program. I think there is a few other tasks in there that I've forgotten.

The other half of my internship is spent with Inclusion. I am SO very excited about this part. If a child decides they want to participate in Park district (general) programming but needs accommodations, we pair them up with a 1-on-1 or 2on1 aid. I think I am going to be doing my senior project with the inclusion team and would love to stay with them after my internship. I think I am most excited about this part because it is pure TR. From the initial assessment to the final evaluation it is a constant process of progress notes, goals and objectives, evaluations, hands on active interventions, one on one work that will enable a kid to fully and equally participate in a community recreation program! It's also an amazing thing to show the community and the other kids that focusing on an individual’s abilities rather than a disability is possible and much more productive.

I spent this beautiful Memorial Day weekend exploring my new home and the cities around it. I spent most of my time reading in cute coffee shops and spending money at Half Price Books. It was a great weekend. 

I am going to try to update this specific entry weekly..so look for part 2 next week!

My Choice

A few days ago, a close friend of mine and I were having a conversation  that led to a question about faith. My friend asked me how when a person goes through horrible things that leave lasting physical, emotional, and mental scars, how does their faith not only persist, but remain strong and even grow? I tried to explain my thoughts on the spot, and completely and miserably failed. Since then the question has been on my mind constantly, and after spending lots of time in thought, I would like to try and give it another shot.

To me, having and keeping faith is an active choice that I make daily. The first thing I am choosing is to believe that God sent His son Jesus Christ to live a sin free life, and then die the ugliest of deaths for my sins, so that I may be forgiven and live forever in heaven with Him. That is John 3:16, Christianity in a nutshell. For me, that is the part that has been taught to me ever since I was a kindergartner in Chuck and Loraine's Sunday school class at my old church-the easy part. I choose to believe that is true, from the deepest parts of my heart.

 Growing up, I found out pretty quickly that the world can be a very dark, cruel place. Sometimes things happen to people who believe in and are faithful to God that are unfair. They are things that are so un-Godly, they make you question the existence of Him at all. If there is a God, or a Jesus Christ, why the heck do things like this happen?! I think choosing faith means that at the end of the day, all your doubts are put to rest, not because they were answered but because you choose to believe in spite of them. (Not an easy task, friends).

My second choice is that part of believing in God, includes believing what He says. I haven't read the entire Bible (or you know, anywhere near that), but I love how it is said in Isaiah 49 (especially verse 16, "I'll never forget you-never. Look, I have your name written on the palm of my hand"). Even though there are times in life where things just suck. When you've been hurt to the deepest depths of your heart, and you can't see God in any of it, He's there. I choose to believe that He is there. I choose to believe that He has a plan for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Instead of Babylon, because I don't live there, and because I'm not Jeremiah, I feel God is saying to me, "I know this sucks, and it's hurting you, but I promise, I'm here and I'm going to show you why. It's just not time yet. I know what I'm doing, I promise. I've got this. I am taking care of you, I'm right here, just be patient. Soon, you'll understand, and I can't wait to show you the beauty that is what's next." I honestly cannot explain how amazing it makes me feel to type those words. It is my honor to choose to believe those words.


The hardest part about that choice is following through with my actions. Staying put, when all I want to do is run. Being patient, when all I want are answers. Staying silent, when every fiber of who I am is begging to collapse into someones arms and cry. All the while, showing nothing but His grace and His love to the ones who are causing the discomfort. Because I choose to live in His light, and to be the person He wants me to be, I choose to do these things too- to the absolute best of my ability.


Because I choose to believe He is my savior, that His word is true, and I choose give my honest to goodness best effort to walk in His shoes, I get to experience the best part. I get His joy. His joy cancels out the gross stuff, it shines out, magnifying all the amazing things I've been given, leaving the gross stuff manageable and insignificant. I get to experience His hope. Hope in that future He told me about. Hope in the fact that my wildest dreams are bland in comparison to the plan He already has for me. Even in the darkest moments of my life, He put His hope in my heart, and I knew I was going to be okay. But the thing that I have been promised, before I was even a thought, the thing that out shines everything else He promised, is His Love. The unconditional, radiant, crazy love that underlines and intensifies everything else that is given, and restores all the damage and pain that I have ever felt. The love that only a Father could give, is mine for the taking. I'm still working on accepting it, but I know it's there. It's His love that brought me to the people, the places, and the experiences that I hold closest to my heart. And it's His love that will one day carry me home.

You Make Beautiful Things

First off, HAPPY EASTER!! What a beautiful day it is!! How amazing that our God would send his only Son to the ugliest of deaths, with our hearts in His eyes, and save us. That's beauty.

Well, I figured I should take some time and fill everyone in about what I am doing and such.

We have started our Spring season at Camp Courageous. I was really excited about this because Spring= beautiful free time. Typically we work 14 hour days, but this season we only work 8-4!! We have groups of students from area school's Special Ed Programs come and do 3-5 activities and then head back to school. It has been really cool to see the teachers and sometimes gen. ed. "buddies" see the students at a camp designed especially for their success and to see how different they are when they are succeeding at the activities we have for them. My favorite moment so far was in my first group. This group was made up of five students from the Special Education program, four "buddy" students (general education), and two teachers. We were at the Super Zip, the camp zip line, and were harnessing up to go. One of the students used a wheelchair and the teachers and buddy students figured since she uses a chair she probably wouldn't be able go down the zip line. Little did they know, when we say EVERYONE can do EVERYTHING at Camp Courageous, we mean it. We began harnessing her up and got the sling seat she would be using in place when one of the teachers asked her if she really wanted to do this. The student answered her with a grin that was undoubtedly a "heck YES!!!" We wheeled her up to the platform and I stood and watched as the Adventure Specialists hooked up the block and tackle equipment and clipped her in. I was watching the other students and teachers and couldn't help but notice one teacher's white-knuckle grip on the railing with one hand, the other over her mouth, clearly a nervous wreck. As the commands were shouted to prepare for the zip, the student let out a shriek that can only be described as pure joy and anticipation and was lowered off the platform for the ride of her life. I glanced again at the nervous teacher and saw a few tears slip out of her eyes, her nervous face replaced with one of hope and gratitude. That is why I love this job. The chance to see people watch their loved one's doing things that they never thought they would be able to do. Seeing those loved one's eyes widen with excitement, watch them achieve something they had never thought of, and that beautiful smile that never fully leaves their face, always lingering at the corners of their mouths and shining out of their eyes. I cannot express the joy that it brings me. If you're looking for something beautiful, look no further ladies and gentlemen. 

While I am loving my time here, the end is approaching. This is a very bittersweet thing for me. I love Camp..so much. The people I have in my life now will always be some of my favorites. But I cannot deny my excitement for what is next! First and foremost, I will graduate from UNI May 5th with five of my best friends. I am so excited! After that I move to Aurora, Illinois on May 19th and start my 14 week internship at Fox Valley Special Recreation Association. With the exception of having a place to live there, I'm sooooo ready to go!! The next step is semi up in the air right now. There is a REALLY amazing place in Bend, Oregon that contacted me for an internship interview that I am strongly looking to go to after my internship. There is also a grad school opportunity that is absolutely too good to be true at this point. It's a two year Masters program for Human Services Management in Maryland.. In this program you go to school while working directly in the field. I would be learning how to manage a group home for people with special needs while living and working in a group home. I am looking for more information and will probably be applying soon!

I have been feeling really out of touch spiritually for the past few months and was starting to get discouraged (as seen in lack of posting). I felt like I wasn't where I was supposed to be and then had some tragic losses in my life of some pretty great people. I prayed all the time to begin to feel God's arms around me and to see how taking the people He did was more than just cruel wrath. I turned to worship music and sat with my eyes closed just listening, praying, hoping for weeks. One of my favorite bands, Needtobreathe has a song called "Garden", it is a beautiful call to Jesus to be the center and it has been on repeat in my head for a while. I still don't have the answers to those questions, but I am beginning to feel God taking my hand and leading me again. Man, does that feel great. Even as I type these words I am beginning to feel His love starting to cover me again. It feels like coming home. I'm excited to for the next season of life, and am loving living this one out to the fullest.

The title of this post comes from Gungor's "Beautiful Things" Check it out!